PASSAGES
by GoldAngel2
Summary: Someone asked me to rewrite my BOTP fic to the Gatch universe--I couldn't (see author's note) but here's one that follows right after Joe's disappearence
1. Default Chapter

_Author's Note: This fic was written in response to a request to redo my Battle of the Planets story as a Gatchaman one. Since that particular story was written based on an ending scene that was one of the added famously poorly drawn Sandy Frank scenes and since I have acquired the Gatchaman I import DVDs, I wrote this as happening right after Episode 105 (the next day after Joe's death) and the team's going through the grieving process. To the Gatch purists both here in the states and across the western pond who may read this, I have based some dialogue and flashbacks to the translations of the English subtitles of the DVDs so please bear with me if they are not entirely faithful to canon-I don't speak or read Japanese. I don't own Gatchaman, its characters or places, it is the property of Tatsunoko and this is no infringement of their copyright.  
_

**PASSAGES**

**Part I-FRESH WOUND**

The ride back from the Galactor base on the God Phoenix was uncharacteristically quiet, the four remaining members of the Science Ninja Team were all lost in their own separate reveries. But this wasn't the usual journey home. Berg Katse had been defeated, the Black Hole Operation halted, but there was no jubilation among the team, only stunned silence and an almost palatable sense of loss. Swallow Jinpei, whose usual excitement after past battles was near ballistic, was subdued, quieted by the fact that one seat on the ship was eerily vacant. This was weighing heavy on everybody's mind for they all were in deep shock over the demise of their comrade, brother and friend Condor Joe. Joe, perpetually angry and driven to destroy Galactor at any cost, paid the ultimate price, his life, while he went down fighting. Knowing Joe, the team knew that there could never be any other way for him to go.

The team's hearts were heavy with the shock of seeing one of them go down at all. For the better part of almost three years, they fought Berg Katse and the evil empire of Galactor as a sacred mission side by side, all dedicated to protecting Earth from Sosai X's vicious and relentless pursuit of the fruition of his maniacal desire of domination. Even the sight of Berg Katse, throwing himself into the magma below the Earth's crust to certain death had held little satisfaction at the team's own feelings of loss. Even Owl Ryu, the gentle giant who always had a quick quip, was silent as he expertly piloted the Phoenix back to the temporary base at the ISO.

The other two members, Science Ninja captain Eagle Ken and Swan Jun were also in quiet contemplation over the death of Joe but there were other matters that each was preoccupied with as well while they all headed home. Up front, Ken sighed as his mind played back memories of his team's individual trials of the past two years like a nonstop mental movie marathon. He was remembering the events where each of them had been to the brink. At that particular moment he was pressed into especially reflecting on other times where he had felt such an excruciating sense of emptiness.

Ken was also mulling over what had taken place at Galactor headquarters in the machinery room. He could still hear the desperate cry of Jun as he was preparing to throw himself into the machinery driving the bomb that was to pierce the core of the Earth with a nuclear explosive to stop it. She begged him not to go, pleading and admitting she couldn't live without him that if he died it would kill her. She then had thrown herself at him in tears. As she did, he found himself in an emotional quandary, something he had hoped as the team's captain he was above of but his heart had constricted in pain at her tears, especially knowing that he was the cause of them. He returned her embrace, allowing himself the chance to show her that he not only acknowledged her feelings, he reciprocated them. He had tried so hard and so long to deny his feelings for Jun at least out in the open, having been placed in the role of commanding officer in this endeavor, setting personal feelings aside for the cause. _Why oh why did_ _Nambu have to put the most beautiful_ _girl I'd ever seen on the team?_ he had asked himself constantly. Although it was what he wanted more than anything Ken felt strongly that an emotional attachment with the bright, lovely yet tough and resourceful female ninja would be detrimental to the success of the team. But he couldn't help those feelings when they chose to manifest themselves at times, usually when he was alone or asleep in his shack at 3 AM where visions of Jun swam before him, tantalizing and captivating him. He was a man after all and duty to the team aside, he yearned for a normal life where he could pursue the raven haired beauty with all of a suitor's ardor and tenderness.

As they approached the ISO base like he often did, Ken surreptitiously glanced over his right shoulder to peek at Jun sitting behind him. She was shivering in her birdstyle, her head bowed and huddling beneath her wings seemingly seeking warmth from an inner chill. He ached to go to her and hold her again, comfort her as he sought comfort himself from the insidious grief that was beginning to haunt him. But again he felt the iron fetters of duty and responsibility to the entire team so he savagely pushed the desire aside and began to form in his head what he would say to Nambu.

Jun in the meantime was deep in her own brooding, feeling strangely numb and ill at ease. Granted, it was no secret that she had deep feelings for Ken all these years that the team had worked together. However, when faced with the very real possibility of losing him as he chose to sacrifice his life for the duty of saving the Earth, like his father, the captain of Red Impulse had, she begged him not to, the thought of his death unacceptable. She found herself in the uncomfortable position of forcing him to neglect duty to spare him like any other overemotional girl without her training. She was filled with the remorse of knowing that she, a trained warrior, had chosen the human emotion of love to block Ken from fulfilling the vow he took as commander of the Science Ninjas, to risk all to protect the Earth. She was inundated with a vast feeling of shame and unworthiness. But the mere thought of his not being there sitting in the front, of never hearing his laugh or seeing his sky blue eyes twinkle at her again was unthinkable.

"Coming up on base, Commander" Ryu said flatly, breaking the cloying, heavy silence.

Ken nodded"Signal in for landing." He glanced back again. "D'you hear me, Jun"

She replied tersely"It's done, Commander."

He studied her"Are you okay"

"I'm fine." Her taut statement disturbed him but he didn't know why.

"Jinpei" Ken addressed the youth. He noticed the tracks of dried tears on his cheeks.

Jinpei sniffled"I'm okay, aniki."

Ken answered approvingly"That's the way."

The Phoenix landed and began docking in its hangar. Ken got to his feet and headed to the rear exit. "Let's go, team." They followed him to the bubble to disembark.

Once they jumped down to the floor of the hangar they detransmuted into their street clothes and headed to Nambu's office for debriefing. Jinpei and Ryu walked ahead and Ken fell in step with Jun but she remained silent, her head pointed straight in front. He reached to touch her shoulder intending to offer solace but she flinched as if burned which caused a shiver in his heart. He withdrew his hand and dourly shoved both hands in his pockets as they entered the elevator to go up to the doctor's office making no further attempt.

Nambu Hakase was facing the picture window, back to the sullen Science Ninja Team as they drew up to his desk. He turned and scanned the shocked and grief stricken expressions on the faces of his children for that is what they were to him, children thrust prematurely into the adult roles of soldiers yet still within the bloom of their youth. And like the children they still were, they looked wan, battle-weary, and forlorn. He slid his eyes from one sorrowful countenance to another and his heart went out to them. With head bowed he addressed them.

"I'm sorry everybody." That seemed like such an inadequate statement because he too felt the burden of grief but Nambu found himself at a loss, having nothing else to say in the face of the team's despair.

"Thank you, Hakase" Ken responded laconically, always the commander.

Jinpei sniffled loudly"Joe-aniki, he, he..." He buried his head against Jun's bosom, seeking comfort from his big sister, sobbing.

"Forgive us, Hakase we are" Ryu began but Nambu held his hand up.

"No explanations are necessary. You all, we all have been dealt a terrible blow. So I think that you all should have some time off."

"But, Hakase, Galactor still exists. Katse may be gone but Sosai X will regroup and attack again" Jun stated in a soft voice.

Ken glanced at her, surprised by the iron will underlying the near whisper of her words. He added"That's right. Besides, we have yet another reason to see Galactor destroyed."

Nambu shook his head. "No, neither of you is of the right mindset now to go out and uncover any other Galactor operations that may be in the works. You all need time to grieve and get your emotions out." They all began to protest but he stood firm. "As of the conclusion of this meeting, you are all ordered to go home and get rested for an undetermined time. That is until you all hear from me. That is all." He turned back to the window abruptly, dismissing them.

The team all exchanged quizzical glances with each other but taking Nambu's cue, Ken tossed his head toward the door, gesturing for them to leave. They all followed him out.

Ryu and Jimpei quickly headed down the hall but as Jun made to follow them, Ken detained her with a hand on her shoulder. "Jun, I want to talk to you" he said gently.

Jun looked at him with a bit of discomfort. "I really should get home. I don't want Jinpei left alone right now." She turned to go.

Ken's hand remained on her shoulder. "Then is it okay if I come over to the Snack later? I really want to talk to you."

Jun looked at him with trepidation and after a moment of uncertainty she nodded. "Okay, Ken." With her head down to avoid his steady blue gaze, she turned from his hold and hurried down the hall with him watching after her.

The Snack J was deserted, a note taped to the glass door stating -**CLOSED DUE TO DEATH IN FAMILY**. Inside, Ryu and Jimpei were slouched in two counter stools, elbows on table, heads resting in their hands, the picture of utter dejection. Jun, behind the counter, wiping the clean surface repeatedly, needed to stay busy. Her heart was grieving for Joe but her mind was returning to thoughts she would rather forget, at least for the time being. She tried valiantly to not allow her mind to dwell on that one thought but her mind was relentless, constantly going back to the scene in the machinery room. She wanted to forget about her desperate confession to Ken but it kept haunting her like a nightmare that refused to go away. She was positive by the look on Ken's face after the meeting with Nambu that he wanted to discuss it with her but she was filled with fear at what he wanted to say. But, she couldn't avoid him indefinitely, not when he was determined to ferret out any information, like the way he approached his job, he would be tireless until he got what he wanted.

Jun sighed as she noted the silence of her brother and teammate. She went up to them and placed her hands on their shoulders affectionately. "You guys want anything"

Jinpei looked over his shoulder and saw Jun's compassionate eyes. That did it for him as he plastered himself against her, sobbing brokenheartedly"Onechan, onechan" His tears flowed freely, making her shirt damp.

Ryu's own brown eyes glistened with unshed tears as the big man tried to be strong. He glanced helplessly at Jun holding the weeping boy, wanting to help but unable to, lost in his own sorrow.  
"Nothing for me, Jun" he replied, a true indicator of his deep anguish for Ryu never turned down an offer of free food.

Jinpei shook his head, still sobbing in Jun's arms.

Ken pulled up on his motorcycle, cutting the motor and getting off. He set the kickstand and with a heavy sigh looked at the dark window of the Snack J, the large J sign in the front unlit. He noticed Ryu's battered van as the lone vehicle parked in the empty lot in front of the Snack, telling him that the rest of the team was inside together and he knew he needed to be there too. Nervously, he pushed back his still damp dark unruly long hair having taken a shower before coming to Jun's place. After the meeting at ISO he had gone to his shack on the airstrip to seek the release of tears privately in his shower, letting the hot running water course down his face, camouflaging his grief for his best friend Joe. He was beset with a myriad of emotions, guilt, anger, sadness, and, regret but duty bound and with firm resolve, he decided that the team needed him now more than ever. And he wanted, needed to talk to Jun.  
The bell above the door tinkled announcing the arrival of someone, the tall muscular form of the Science Ninja commander silhouetted against the late afternoon glow as the group in the quiet diner turned to see. Ken walked up to his little extended family, huddled together seeking succor from the pain and with eyes of affection and shared sorrow, he encircled them in his arms. The four remaining members of Gatchaman remained locked together for several minutes.

"Aniki, I'm so glad to see you" Jinpei cried hugging Ken's waist with one arm while still clinging to Jun with the other.

Ryu sniffled"We didn't want to be alone so we're all here. Glad you came."

Jun noticed Ken's wet hair and knew that he had gone to grieve on his own. Since he couldn't fly and cry at the same time and it was too chilly this time of year to take a swim, she knew he had spent the last hour beneath his shower, allowing his own tears to flow unobserved. He gazed at her significantly over Jinpei's head, buried in his stomach, his clear blue eyes silently broadcasting his concern for her. She shrugged and nodded, stroking her little brother's head.

Ryu caught the subtle communication between G-1 and G-3 and wisely ascertained the need for privacy between them so he cleared his throat to speak"I have an idea Jinpei, why don't we go for a ride"  
Jinpei looked up with a tear filled face. "I want to stay with onechan" he insisted hugging Jun tighter.

Ryu stood up and put a firm hand on his shoulder. "I think she needs some time alone, buddy. She's been here taking care of us all afternoon, she needs to take care of herself now."

Jinpei looked up at Jun. "Do you need to be alone, onechan"

Jun looked at Ken who had taken a seat on a stool. She smiled bravely and said"Well, it would be nice." "Just for a while" she added at Jinpei's crestfallen expression.

Jinpei looked doubtful. "But I don't want to leave you alone" he said stubbornly.

Ken rose to his feet. "She won't be, Jinpei. I'll stay and make sure she's okay" he stated gently.

Finally relenting, Jinpei nodded woodenly. "Okay, neechan. I'll be back later." He gave her a last, fierce hug and then said over his shoulder"You take care of her, Aniki."

Ken said gravely"I will, Jinpei. You can trust me."  
With a dubious expression but somewhat mollified Jinpei walked over to the door and left with Ryu. The bell tinkled again as the heavy glass door slid shut.

Ken and Jun were finally alone.

Sighing, Jun went back behind the counter and reached for a rag. Ken sat on a stool and resting his chin in his hands, studied her with his steady blue gaze as she again polished the counter top wordlessly. He wondered what she was thinking as she continued to use nervous energy to wipe at dirt that didn't exist.

She asked in a low voice"Can I get you anything" Her hand went by him and he gently but firmly stopped her motion.

"Come here" he said as he gestured to the stool on his left.

Jun looked at Ken with the same uncertainty that she had in the hall outside Nambu's office but made her way around the counter to take a seat next to him. Her slender shoulders were slumped as head down, she sat there in quiet gloominess, her hair hiding her face like a black satin curtain. Ken turned his stool to her and he gently brushed the inky strands back from her forehead.

"So you been playing den mother this afternoon"

Jun nodded"Uh-huh. Ryu really didn't want to go back to his boathouse alone so he came in with us. He didn't even want anything to eat."

Ken commented"Then he was really upset."

Jun looked at him strangely but didn't say anything in retort. Instead she said"Everybody grieves in their own way, Ken. You took a shower didn't you"

Ken flinched slightly as she exercised her uncanny ability to read him. "I can't hide anything from you." He examined her closely"What about you, Jun"

She blinked her eyes and replied"I'll be okay."

Ken continued to gaze evenly at her. "I wish I could believe you." He continued"It's okay to let it out, Juni. Everyone's gone. And I'm here."

Jun gazed blankly at his warm compassionate eyes the color of a summer sky. She shook her head helplessly as the tears that were held back all afternoon fell from her limpid jade green eyes. Ken put his arms around her, pulling her against his shoulder so she too could grieve. He tenderly caressed her head as she sobbed brokenly, whispering soft words of comfort as she cried.

"I-I can't believe he's gone, Ken. I just can't"

"I know. I can't either."

"He was so weak out there, lying on the ground. In all the time we've known and worked with him he was indestructible. It just was surreal, seeing him on the ground and weak like that."

"Yeah" Ken said. "Too ornery to die. His rage was what drove him and it was his shield."

Jun sniffled"Not this time." She got up and walked over to a booth, clutching her arms in a shiver.

Ken rose and walked over to her. He grasped her shoulders and with the same care as he had used before at ISO and turned her around to face him. "There's something else on both our minds as well as Joe, isn't there"

Jun looked at him in feigned ignorance. There it is! It didn't take long to get around to it. "What are you talking about" she asked in a shaky voice.

Ken wasn't buying it. "You know what I'm talking about, Jun. What happened in the machine room at the Galactor headquarters" he probed gently.

"A-at Galactor headquarters" she replied dumbly.

"Yeah. You know when I was about to try to stop the bomb. What was that all about"

Jun tried to walk away but Ken's hold on her shoulders was firm. His azure gaze became searching, penetrating and she felt pinned like a butterfly on a board. "I was scared and I didn't know what I was doing or saying" she said nervously.

"Ah I see. So you really didn't mean what you said. About Hakase and Joe." He continued to drill her. "And what about what you said about me"

Jun looked at him in misery. "I-I wasn't very warriorlike was I" Tears appeared in her eyes and she bowed her head in shame.

Ken took her chin in his hand and lifted her head to look into her eyes. "No, but that's not the reason I'm trying to talk to you about it. I feel that it's time you and I talk about what's gone on between us."

Jun did a double take. "Y-you want to talk about...us"

Ken nodded"I know that there's been a certain...attraction between us since we first started on the team. And as you know, I've been, well, uncomfortable about it."

Jun nodded numbly, bracing herself for the letdown she felt was forthcoming. She responded in a small voice"I know that you've been."

Ken gazed kindly at her. "But you don't know the reason why, do you Juni"

Jun was confused by the endearing inflection of her name. "No, Ken, I don't."

He gestured to the booth where they both sat leaning on the table, facing each other. He studied her earnestly and began"In the beginning, when you and Jinpei were introduced to the team, I was glad for many reasons. The first, being the martial arts skills you both possessed and the speed and agility you had. It was terrific, Joe, Ryu, and me we were all impressed despite the fact that Jinpei was a child and you a girl."

He went on"But there was something else about you, Jun. As you matured and rounded out you became the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on." Jun blushed with pleasure as he continued"You mesmerized me, I couldn't take my eyes off you during classes, practices and when we all had recreational outings, I wanted to be next to you and tried my best to impress you. Joe used to tease me unmercifully and we gave each other more than a few bruises fighting about it."

Ken took a deep breath"I saw how you reacted to me and I was so happy, I felt like I was walking on the clouds. But at the time, Hakase who had been grooming me to be commander took note and told me that any romantic attachment between team members was unacceptable, that emotions could cloud my judgment in making tough decisions. So I put aside my feelings for you to become commander of the Science Ninja Team."

Jun nodded in understanding. "I see."

Ken reached and grasped her hands. "There's more, Jun. Even though I was told by Hakase not to get involved with you, I still couldn't help my feelings. Don't you know why I mostly favored having you with me on missions"

Jun replied, "My intelligence and abilities"

Ken nodded, "That's part of it. But in truth I wanted you to be the one with me. If I had to give up my life, if you had to give up your life, I wanted us to die together."

Jun leaned back with her head down, digesting everything he had said. She let her memory roam, providing her with various scenarios of past missions against Galactor when she accompanied Ken. The day the Crescent Coral was destroyed, the time they were locked in the restroom of the Galactor helicopter and ended up in the middle of nowhere, when they snuck into the terrapin mecha, when they fell down below the baseball field, when they went on the island to infiltrate the mecha factory, the cruise ship, and the flight show. So many times that they had worked together. And then she thought of Joe and his last word to her as life seeped out of his battered body Jun, get together with Ken and have a real life. Get out of this life and be a normal girl. The remembered statement brought the sting of tears back and her shoulders shook with barely controlled sobs.

Ken got up from his bench in the booth and enfolded her in his arms as he squeezed in beside her. He gently brushed his fingers across her cheek and felt the warm stream of her anguish as she crumpled against him, wetting his shirt and allowing herself the freedom to let go of the despair she had felt all afternoon when she had to be a tower of strength for Jinpei and Ryu. Her body convulsed with deep heart-wrenching sobs that brought tears to Ken's eyes as the pain of Joe's death attacked him anew. They both grieved the loss of their brother and teammate as the sun finally sunk below the horizon, plunging the entwined figures in semi-darkness, silhouetted against the dim glow of the fluorescent light hanging above the bar.

Gradually, Ken and Jun's shared anguish was cried out and they sat there quietly, still wrapped in the comfort of each other's arms. Jun rested her head on Ken's chest, his warm and rhythmic breathing easing her along with the strong beat of his heart against her ear, making her feel safe and protected. He softly stroked her silky ebony hair, feeling the slight shift closer into him and marveled at how fragile she felt in spite of her physical strength as the Swan. He sighed deeply, words being a loss for the moment.

After a while, Jun picked her head up off of Ken's chest and looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry I fell apart like that. I was just thinking about how I never thought any of us would die, that with our skills and abilities we could be invincible." What a foolish, childish thought! she chided herself. Ken smiled sadly"It's okay. I thought the same thing. That nobody, nobody could defeat Kagaku Ninjatai, that we all would rise up in righteous fury to crush Galactor. They had stolen so much from all of us, parents, family, friends, our childhood innocence. Not to mention how many other lives." His eyes flashed with fury and anguish both as rage, pain, guilt, and grief all converged and swirled in his soul like a maelstrom. "And I could've done something to stop them from taking Joe's."

Jun studied his stormy blue eyes and as usual read his very thoughts. "You can't blame yourself, Ken. Joe was determined to overcome his illness, to continue to be a part of the team" she reasoned.

Ken grunted as he disentangled himself and began to pace. "Yeah, so he took off on his own and tried to single-handedly defeat Katse. He wouldn't have had to do that if I just took him along with us and ordered him stay on the ship."

"Ken, you know as well as I do that if you had done that, Joe would've felt worse, being so close to the action, yet unable to contribute" Jun said softly, her head down.

Ken whirled on her. "As the commander, I could have had him thrown in the brig" he said savagely, not wanting to hear any excuses, however pertinent.

Jun shook her head sadly"Now you know that that wouldn't have happened." She got to her feet and grasped him by the shoulders. "Joe would've found a way to escape and join us. He wanted Katse's hide more than anyone but you and he was determined to get it."

Ken looked into the forest pool eyes gazing solemnly into his and his anger fled as he slumped helplessly in her hands. "I can't help it, Juni. I feel so impotent, so..."

"Frustrated? Helpless"

"A failure! I feel like a failure as Joe's commander, his teammate, his best friend. I failed to help him, to insist that he be tested and treated. I once again took a chance on caring for someone and again they're snatched away from me! My caring for someone or loving them is like signing their death warrant" he cried bitterly, turning his face away so she wouldn't see the tears flowing down his cheeks.

Now it was Jun's turn. She reached up to Ken's face and gently brushed the mahogany waves that had fallen down over his eyes like a hood. Wordlessly, she reached for a napkin in the holder on the table of the booth they had shared and dabbed at the rivulets running down from the corners of his eyes. He gazed at her like a lost little boy and then buried his head in her hair, unable to hold back his sorrow.

"It's okay" she whispered, caressing his back. "It's okay."

Ken shook his head and pulled back as he smiled wryly through his tears. "I came here to be strong for you and the team. Some great Eagle, huh"

"Even eagles need to let go. Everyone does" Jun replied soothingly.

Ken gazed gratefully into her sweetly compassionate visage and his eyes sparkled. "I'm glad that this Eagle has his Swan to go to."

He reverently ran his knuckles lightly around her cheek and under her chin. His smile faded slowly as he deepened his study of her, the upturned heart-shaped porcelain face, the pine forest green eyes framed by sooty lush lashes, the pink Cupid's bow mouth that looked so tantalizing, the midnight corn silk hair. This was the girl who fought beside him for almost two years, and had always been an anchor to him, supporting him and trusting him, giving him courage and faith in himself even when he'd lost it. Her brilliant mind and superb fighting skills made her an invaluable asset to his team. They had known for a while the deep affection they shared but had mutually agreed to wait until the war with Galactor was over to act upon it. Now that Katse was dead, maybe it was finally the time to give into the desires of both their hearts. Ken was tired of having to be satisfied with dreams and fantasies of what it would be like to know Jun in a biblical sense, now he wanted the dreams to become reality. He cradled her face in his hands and drew her mouth to his, kissing her softly at first, then with increased insistence as all the bottled up hunger and desire that had gnawed at his being since the day he first laid eyes on her finally broke free.

Jun moaned softly, her slender arms snaking up under Ken's firmly muscled upper arms, corded biceps and triceps compressing, drawing her into him tightly, while his hands still cupped her face as he continued to drink in the sweetness of her mouth. She closed her eyes as she responded fully, her senses reeling, as she felt herself being swept into the whirlwind of her own pent up yearnings. Her hands kneaded his shoulder blades gently as she opened her mouth more to receive him. Soft guttural grunts erupted from his chest and came through his vocal cords as his orifice continued to cover hers, his tongue probing, exploring. Her mind was filled with the very essence of him, each sense virtually singing with the scent, the touch, the sound of his own surrender, mirroring hers. Their lips gradually drew apart but they stood there, forehead to forehead, savoring the closeness for several minutes.

Ken spoke first, hesitantly, the old fears resurfacing"I should go. Jinpei will probably be back with Ryu any time." But he made no move to leave, his arms still wrapped around Jun.

"Uh-huh" she said softly, knowing the telltale signs of his emotions in conflict. She decided to make it easy for him by removing herself from his arms and turning her back to him. "It's okay. I'm okay." She turned and looked directly into his eyes. "Really."

He was feeling torn by uncertainty as there she was again, making the way, freeing him with the same grace and humility she always practiced. Ken felt his heart pound with feelings of gratitude and more as he leaned down to give her a peck on her cheek. "Thank you, Juni."

She nodded and smiled tearfully. "Call me if you need me, Ken."

"I will." He turned around with his head down and hands in his pockets to head out the door.

Jun watched him as he got on his bike and kicked the starter, turned and rode out of the parking lot into the dusk. She sighed deeply as she pondered about what he had told her and realized how much it had taken for him to break down and to admit his feelings in words. Unbeknownst to him, he had always shown her how he felt though his body language and his clear blue eyes, no matter how benign his facial expression was. The saying "eyes are the windows of the soul" was personified in Ken Washio because since the day Nambu had brought her and Jinpei into his home, Ken proved he could communicate anything to her with his eyes. She could always read Ken's feelings in those intense azure orbs of his for if he showed indifference to her in other ways, she could read his true feelings in his eyes unlike Joe, for whom subterfuge of all emotions except perpetual rage was raised to an art form.

Thinking of Joe, Jun walked slowly about the deserted diner, her hand lightly running over the seat of the booth that he was fond of occupying when he used to frequent the Snack. She closed her eyes and could almost hear his baritone talking and arguing with Ken, scoffing at Ryu, and teasing Jinpei. Joe especially loved doing the latter because it never failed to get a rise out of her excitable little brother. His dark blue glare floated in her mind's eye like suspended twin sapphires, his sardonic smirk becoming as clear to her as if he were sitting right there. She could imagine his long lean form stretching indolently in languid catlike grace as he perused the daily newspaper or his favorite auto racing periodical, yet coiled and ever ready to spring into action if their bracelets summoned them to battle.

Jun sighed deeply, warm tears stinging her eyes as she was drawn to the jukebox in the corner of the Snack and she idly flipped through the selections. Music being her release, she came across a number that was considered obscure and antiquated by the youth that hung out at the Snack J but considering her present state of mourning was very appropriate. It was part of a group of music disks that she had snuck into the jukebox one day while Jinpei wasn't looking, some classic folk and blues tunes that she had fell in love with back when she began taking guitar lessons. Her teacher, who was an aficionado of blues and the folk music of the 1960's, had a deep appreciation for the acoustic artistry such music inspired and taught the same to Jun. He had introduced her to the likes of Arlo Guthrie, Bob Dylan, Peter, Paul, and Mary, Neil Young, Ritchie Havens as well as blues legends Sam Dave, BB King, and Sam Cooke. And so inspired herself, she had searched the web, all the record stores in Utoland and the surrounding environs tirelessly for all the folk, acoustic rock, and blues she could find and much to Jinpei's chagrin, insisted on playing the music not only up in their living quarters, but down in the diner.

Jun chose the selection by sixties folk artist Tim Buckley so she pressed the button and then was surrounded by the throbbing and haunting guitar with the harmonica background

So Swan Jun, the resident pillar of strength to the Kagaku Ninjatai, hugged her shoulders tightly and giving into the wave of despair that was washing through her being, sank to the floor, sobbing and wailing over and over again like a litany of sorrow Joji! Joji! Joji!


	2. Walking Through the Grief

**Part II-WALKING THROUGH THE GRIEF**

About four days later, the Gatchaman team was gathered together at Nambu's office, him having summoned them there for an unscheduled meeting. All the members were curious as to the reason for the meeting, for the doctor had not indicated why he was calling them when he beeped them on their communicators. But old habits die hard and they hadn't as yet turned in the bracelets nor were they asked to turn them in. They sat silently waiting for Nambu to join them, Jinpei and Ryu on one sofa, Ken and Jun on the other.

Ken surreptitiously glanced at Jun to see how she was faring. She sat there rigidly, looking ahead, hands folded primly in her lap, saying nothing except to respond to his greeting when they all arrived and took seats. Jinpei and Ryu were more reserved then usual but still talked quietly among themselves, making Ken feel isolated and left out. The tension within the group was thick enough to cut with a knife.

For the last four days, the remaining members of the Kagaku Ninjatai were immersed in their own private agonies. Each person had in one way or the other isolated themselves from the world but the worst thing was they had isolated themselves from each other. Team unity in the past was the bulwark of the Gatchaman team and now it appeared that the loss of Joe had shattered the very thing that had been their greatest strength. Ryu had taken himself out to his marina, Ken shut himself up in his shack only leaving to go up for long flights when it felt like the walls were closing in on him. Although they shared the living space above the Snack J, Jun and Jinpei distanced themselves by either closing themselves in their rooms or going for solitary rides in their vehicles.

The door opened and Nambu walked wearily in. He looked haggard, as if he hadn't had much sleep in the past days since the apparent defeat of Galactor, immersed in tying up loose ends and investigating Joe's death. The latter task being the most difficult, for to think of Joe as truly being gone was so shattering, the good doctor had spent many hours weeping bitterly in private. Joe was his foster son, one of the five children he loved as if they were his own and his being gone cut him deeper then any knife. But the veiled face he showed the team now bore no trace of the turmoil within as he faced them regarding them intently behind his desk.

He began, "How is everyone?"

Four wan faces and pairs of pain-filled eyes met him as they shrugged wordlessly.

Nambu went on, "I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here when I told you all that you were on leave. Well, I've called you all in here because it occurred to me that you all might need some assistance in dealing with the grief you're experiencing so I've arranged for the four of you to receive grief counseling here at ISO." He added, "That is, if you want it."

"Hakase," Ken began slowly. "We've all been trying to cope on our own." He glanced at the rest of the team and everyone else had their heads down dejectedly, each enveloped in their lament.

"I understand your desire for solitude, Ken but I felt that if you all wanted to talk about it to someone, that there would be someone for you to talk to. So I arranged for four separate counselors to be available to you for grief counseling, to come to terms with Joe's death," Nambu suggested. He continued, "They all have been briefed on the team's operations for the last two years."

At that statement, all four youths eyed him with a myriad of responses. Ryu looked pained but grateful, Jinpei shook his head with stubborn denial, Jun nodded woodenly with numb acquiescence but Ken got to his feet and addressed the doctor in a polite but steely tone.

"With all due respect, Hakase, we don't think that counseling will help. Besides, we aren't convinced that Joe is dead."

"That's right," Jinpei piped up. "Joe-aniki didn't die." He folded his arms obstinately.

Ryu and Jun nodded in agreement.

Nambu removed his glasses and tiredly wiped his eyes. "All of you believe this?"

They all nodded. "His body was gone when we got back to Cross Karakoram," Ken replied.

Nambu sighed, "That doesn't make a difference. We have to accept that Joe is lost."

"No!" Jinpei screamed, tears flowing. "He's alive somewhere! He has to be!"

Jun reached for her brother and held him close as he began to sob. Ken reached over to ruffle his hair. Ryu patted the young boy on the back.

Nambu stood up with a look of resolve. "You have all just proved to me the need for this counseling. So, I am going to get the sessions set up immediately." He headed out a door to an adjoining room. He returned shortly with four people, all in their late twenties to early thirties and dressed professionally.

Nambu made the introductions, "Team, these are members of the medical staff here at ISO, all licensed psychologists specializing in grief and disaster counseling. This is the Gatchaman team, everyone."

The group of counselors was made up of three men and a woman, to match the genders of the team. Nambu had assigned one counselor to each team member and directed each pair to a separate, private room. Each counselor had been supplied with a brief dossier on their respective subjects so they would know a bit about them. The sessions began and lasted about two hours each.

At the end, each member emerged from their respective session in no lighter a state of mind as they had had before but each had an assignment to complete before the next session. And neither felt impelled to discuss it with each other as they silently went their separate ways.


	3. Jinpei's Journal

Part III-JINPEI'S JOURNAL  
  
Jinpei's buggy pulled into the garage at the Snack J where he sat alone and sullen in his gloomy temper. He was glad that Jun decided to go for a ride on her motorcycle after the grief counseling at ISO, he really wanted to be alone after his session. He was thoughtful about and more than a little annoyed by the session with the counselor, not liking his probing questions which bordered on nosiness. What right had he to question the Great Swallow of Gatchaman about his family? And what did writing in a journal hope to accomplish?   
  
With an exasperated sigh, Jinpei headed into the door that led right up to his and Jun's living quarters above the Snack J. He climbed the stairs and briefly checked the answering machine in the living room for messages. Seeing none, he made his way to his room, tossing a black leather bound book on his desk closing the door none too gently. He frowned darkly as he flung himself on his bed muttering about the utter pointlessness of the task before him. After moping for an indeterminate amount of time, Jinpei sighed heavily, jumped off his bed, reluctantly approached his desk, sat down, and cracked open the book. He picked up a pen and began to write.  
  
This is so stupid! Writing down about how I feel about being on the team. What the hell does he mean by telling me to do this? Even in school, when I had to write some dumb composition, the teacher never asked me to share about my being the Swallow, that was private. After all, I was helping to keep her, her family and friends safe from Galactor and that scumbag Katse. So what's the deal with this guy? Doesn't he know that me, onechan, aniki, Ryu, and Joe-aniki were the guardians of his peace and well-being? What an idiot!  
My family is my family. Onechan and me have been together since she found me in the Himalayas at the foot of Mount Jupiter when I was a baby. She took care of me even when the monks found us and brought us to that orphanage where Hakase found us. When me and onechan were brought to Utoland by Hakase, we had hopes of being adopted and joining a real family. Hakase tried to find a home that would take both of us, but he couldn't so because we refused to be apart, he agreed to keep us at his home. We were so happy 'cause we wanted to be with aniki, Joe-aniki, and Ryu, they were like our real big brothers. They pushed Hakase into bringing us into the team 'cause we had proved to them that we could do the Art as well as them, he didn't want to 'cause I was only seven and oneechan was a girl. So we all became the mighty Kagaku Ninjatai.  
  
Ryu has been my best buddy and the greatest. He often takes me out on his boat with him and I can fish almost as good as him. He plays video games with me and taught me how to sail on an old skiff he fixed up. I even talk to Ryu about things I can't say to onechan because she's a girl or to aniki because he's so dumb about some things, especially girls and Ryu has good sense even he looks like he's dumb. Ryu even helped me with a problem I had in school with some bully who liked the same girl as me. Like I said, he's the greatest.  
  
Aniki is terrific too but I'm not as close to him as I am to Ryu. He's like an older brother, telling me to buckle down and do well in school, not to talk back to onechan, and to pick up my room even though I've seen how he keeps his shack and he should talk! If onechan didn't go over there once a week to clean up after him, he'd be living in a roach nest. He doesn't even pay his bill at the Snack! But he is my commander when we go up on missions so I look up to him. He's a really great leader except sometimes when he does dumb things. Like the time he made us give him our bracelets on a mission 'cause we didn't want Galactor to know who we were as we went among the crowd in Lawnpark City. Me and onechan almost died when we were caught by Galactor and tied up in those coffins. But him and Joe-aniki found us and rescued us to I guess he was right. Onechan agreed with him and wouldn't let me say anything to him about it when we got back, she's always agreeing with him no matter how wrong he is. She's got the major hots for aniki anyway and he does for her though he doesn't show her, I know he does. He doesn't know that I've caught him staring at onechan whenever she's busy doing the dishes behind the bar with his big blue puppy-dog eyes and I saw once how he leans over the counter to gawk at her when she bends down to pick up something she drops, what a perv! I even heard him whisper to Joe when we were all at the beach once that he thought onechan was really cute in her red bikini. He should just ask her to go out with him and get busy!  
  
Now that jerk counselor says I have to talk about Joe-aniki and how I feel about him being dead. I screamed at the dumb-ass that Joe isn't dead, he found a way to escape and we'll find him. If anyone could beat Galactor and be as hurt as he was and live, Joe-aniki could! He's the toughest guy I know even tougher then aniki-nothing scares him and especially not Galactor. He's vowed to destroy them at all costs and avenge the death of his parents for as long as I've known him but he wouldn't let them get him, I know it. Joe and me kind of were funny, not buddies like me and Ryu and not all anal like aniki. We'd trade insults and disses with each other and he'd yell at me sometimes but he always pulled me out of jams on missions and sometimes let me stay at his trailer when I needed to get away from onechan and Ryu wasn't around. I remember that he didn't want me and onechan to join the team at first. Then we proved ourselves to him during training and he accepted us but still made cracks about having a woman and a boy on the team. He could be a real asshole at times but he is basically a good guy, helping aniki keep his head after his father, Red Impulse died. He's alive somewhere, I just know it and we're gonna find him!   
Well, that's all I feel like writing for now so if that counselor don't like it, tough crap!  
-Me  
  
Jinpei put the pen down and closed the journal with a sigh. He wondered where Jun was and when she was coming home because he was getting hungry and he wanted to start dinner. He was worried about her because the other night when Ryu brought him home, they found her sitting on the floor up against the jukebox, her head buried in her arms. Ryu had to carry her upstairs and Jinpei had to put her nightgown on. Jinpei remembered being furious at Ken, because he had promised that he'd look after her while he was gone but when Ryu and him got there she was all alone and looked like she'd been that way for a while. The next day, she'd acted like nothing had happened and was close-mouthed about why she was on the floor the night before so Jinpei decided to let the matter drop and with the exception of basic questions and answers having to do with everyday living, they did not converse.  
  
Jinpei frowned determinedly and figured that he'd best go start dinner even if Jun was still out or he'd never eat. He headed for the kitchen to do that, fighting a rising sense of worry for his older sister. 


	4. Ryu's Journal

Part IV-RYU'S JOURNAL  
  
Ryu opened the door to his marina house and stepped over some fishing gear that had fallen from where it was, propped up by the door. He sighed heavily as he reached down to replace the items and placed his black leather book on his table by the lone window that looked out on the bay. His marina house was little more than a shack; basic living quarters attached to a repair shop that serviced the boats that were docked in the marina, where he ran an erstwhile repair business when he wasn't on missions. He had a fairly good reputation among the other boat owners as a man who knew his way around any watercraft.  
  
Ryu opened his refrigerator and rooted around for the makings of a sandwich and a beer. Once he put together the cold cuts, lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese into a sub roll and opened his beer, he ate, staring at the book the counselor had given him with apprehension. He continued eating as he pondered what exactly the counselor wanted him to write about himself and the team.   
  
Taking his final bite and washing it down with half the beer, Ryu hunted around for a pen and then sat before the leather tome for several more minutes as he tried to figure out how to begin. He opened the book:  
  
I really don't know what to write. I've never been too good at writing anything, let alone my thoughts and feelings. I mean I know what to write in mission logs, ship logs, and reports after missions but this kind of writing has me totally confused.   
  
Write about my family? Which one? I have two of 'em. I mean there's my real(?) family, my dad, and my little brother Seiji who are actually flesh and blood though I don't see 'em much and my family, the team. Ever since Hakase brought me to Utoland and let me join the team, they've been my true family, we've stuck together like glue.   
  
There's Ken, our fearless leader. He's really a great guy and a fantastic commander who I'm proud to follow into battle. He's got a clear head when he's focused and he makes good decisions most of the time. He's also a fierce fighter, doesn't pull his punches even when we're practicing between missions. He's got some issues though, like his temper when things get to be too much for him. When his father died to save the Earth and restore the Van Allen belt, he was a basket case, I was kind of scared because with him and Joe both it was kind of like there were two loose cannons on the team instead of one. He's okay though, except when it comes to women. I mean Jun's been in love with him almost from the day she and Jinpei joined the team and he seems totally in the dark, staring at her at times like she's the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen (she is-he admitted it to me and Joe once) and doing absolutely nothing about it. If a girl like Jun felt that way about me, I'd worship the ground she walked on and treat her like a princess.  
  
Then there's Jun and Jinpei. Jun's a dream, the prettiest girl I'd ever seen, and one tough chick to boot! I mean the way she mows down Galactor goons is poetry in motion. She's really smart too, and there's no one else better on the team in demolitions. Too bad she can't cook worth a damn or I'd give Ken a run for his money, it might even shock him into doing something about her. Then my little buddy Jinpei. He reminds me of Seiji, they're both the same age and they have similar temperaments-enthusiastic, mischievous, a little headstrong but really good kids. Jinpei's kind of hyper at times but he likes to have fun and he's fun to have around. The little punk's a good fighter too, gives as good as he gets whether we're on a mission or in practice. We spend a lot of time together, both on missions and on off time-he's getting to be quite a fisherman, knows right where the big ones are biting. I don't mind taking him with me when Jun needs a break from him, the kid's all right.  
  
Now, Joe. What can I say about Joe? We've had our run ins (not like him and Ken) but we've had 'em. He's always ragging on me about my weight and my napping on the job (he does have a point about that, at least). And he thinks I'm some kind of idiot country bumpkin who hasn't a clue, the SOB. He gave me hell when we were after Katse that time in the jungle about saving that fawn then he refused to destroy the mecha when there was a whole herd of deer in front of it later in the mission. Ha, he actually apologized to me at Cross Karakorum when he was down, and I told him I'd kick the crap out of him when he got well. I still plan to do that when he does come back because I know he will. He HAS to! He wasn't there at Cross Karakorum when we got back there after Katse was killed and the bomb stopped so he must be somewhere. I know he's not dead, no matter what Hakase thinks or says and that goes for the rest of the team too.  
  
That's all I have to say for now so I'll close---Ryu  
  
Ryu closed the journal and chugged the rest of his beer, chucking the bottle into his recycling bin. He watched the sun set over the marina, turning the sky into a pastel palette of pale orange and pink. He thought about Joe's last words to him again and fervently prayed there would be a day soon that he'd be able to do what he had promised him. Maybe Ken will suggest to Nambu to go out and search for him while Galactor is out of commission. And if they did and found him, boy, will I settle the score, Ryu promised himself, building up his hope that the circumstance he was hoping for would in reality take place. 


	5. Jun's Journal

Part V-JUN'S JOURNAL  
  
Jun sat on a bench at Utoland Park near the Rainbow Fountain, clutching the black leather journal to her bosom, staring at the cascading clear water, sparkling in the late afternoon sun. The prism colored lights that would make the fountain a dazzling display at night were hidden now, out shone by the sun but by sunset the fountain would be aglow like a watery fireworks. Jun stared into the fountain, her thoughts running like the tiers of water that danced within the spouting geysers. She found her mind dwelling on the last time she had been at the fountain and how disappointing the circumstances were at that time but it was still her favorite place to sit and think, away from everybody. She sighed and looked up into the cloudless sky, shielding her eyes from the direct rays as she heard the faint sound of a single engine plane flying above and she saw a dark shadow of the plane as it crossed the face of the sun. Her thoughts unwillingly drifted to Ken for every time she heard a plane fly by, she imagined it was him, soaring among the clouds as he sought release from the subconscious demons that constantly pursued him. They all had their ways of dealing with life, for him it was flying. Thinking about the team, she put her hand down and inadvertently glanced at her communicator. She reached and turned it off, deciding that she wanted not to be disturbed.  
  
Jun sighed again and she glanced at the closed book, sitting on her lap, waiting for her to open it and put her thoughts in writing. The counselor had asked her to write down her thoughts of her family and she was given the journal with the request to bring it to the next session. As she gathered her thoughts together to do just that, through the corner of her peripheral vision she spotted a tall, handsome young man stroll by and smile at her, his own eyes twinkling with friendliness as he tried to catch her eye. Jun barely nodded and put her head down and averting her eyes quickly to avoid him, hoping he would get the message that she wasn't interested. He did, his smile fading as he hurried away head down dejectedly. She opened the book and began to write.  
  
It's been a long time since I've done this. Keep a journal. The last time I did this, I was 14 and it was a diary I was keeping. Hakase gave it to me for my birthday and I took it to my room to fill it with all my teenage dreams and hopes, knowing full well that I wasn't like other teenage girls.   
  
When Hakase brought me and Jinpei here, we just hoped to find a family that would want us. It had been hard at the orphanage, even with the monks' kindness to feel good about ourselves without anybody special to love or care for us. It was a dream to us to find a family, a real family that we could fight with, share with, and love. When Hakase chose us, we were so overjoyed to realize what we'd been afraid to even hope for, we were going to have a family! Then he brought us to his house where we met Ryu, Ken, and Joe. And we became a family with me as the only girl (there were times the overabundance of testosterone would drive me crazy).  
  
My family-let me begin with Jinpei. My little brother who I raised as an infant, abandoned and alone. He needed me and I realized as I took care of him, looked out for him and provided for him that I needed him just as much. He's really a wonderful little guy, even now as he's growing up and driving me crazy, still I don't know what I'd do without him. He gets a little nosy and there are times he gets on my nerves but I wouldn't have it any other way. He has a wiseass mouth that makes me want to take his head off and his complaining about the way I run the Snack J makes me almost regret giving him a home long ago (I didn't mean that!). He has a tendency to ride me about his perception of my so-called lack of femininity, usually about my poor culinary skills. He loves to embarrass me in front of the others but he's protective of me in the long haul I know he loves me deeply, as I love him.   
  
Ryu is our gentle giant, a big teddy bear who's Jinpei's partner in crime with jokes played on me at the Snack. Ryu is a sweetheart, and someone who I see as a diamond in the rough. That is, he comes across as not bright but his light is hidden. He's so much more than what he shows others, I know because a few times he's seen me upset by Ken's indifference and has comforted me, like a true big brother. And he always seems to know when I need my space and takes Jinpei out with him, so I can be alone or with Ken on occasion. He's also the best pilot for the God Phoenix out of all of us, getting us out of one scrape or another and away from any weapon a mecha can throw at us.  
  
And Ken. What can I say about Ken? I could say that I've been held captive since the day I first met him by those incredible sky blue eyes of his that I know watch me when he thinks I don't know. That his lean, sinewy strength makes my heart pound every time I see him and my senses sing when he calls my name. That when we go on missions together I think his may be the last face I see when I die and the thought of that comforts me in an odd, wonderful way. But what I'll say is Ken is my commander, my best friend, and the love of my life. He's really very wise and extremely clever in his role as commander, even when he makes the occasional mistake (after all, superior intellect and training aside we are HUMAN still).   
  
To be honest, though, there have been times that Ken in all his Eagle glory has exasperated me to no end. He's always treated me in a way that has me wondering if Jinpei isn't right about my lack of femininity. I mean, is it me? It can't be 'cause there are guys who come to the Snack regularly who flirt with me and beg me to dance with them. And that guy who just walked by me here at the park, he certainly noticed I was a female. So what gives, Washio?? I long for the prepubescent days when you first saw me and followed me everywhere when we weren't training, making it clear to me that you liked me in that way. So now we're grown up and what happened? Is it because you're afraid that caring for me would cloud your judgement in the battlefield? Or are you just afraid of me? I know you care, even though you do some incredibly thoughtless things to me, like slapping me when you all found me after the jigokillers captured me. But I know the truth, Ken, you were devastated when you thought you had killed me by setting the flowers on fire, I know because Joe told me how tortured you were. So why can't you just show me? There are times you put your arm around me or grab my hand and squeeze it at the end of a mission, then later you withdraw like I had the plague. And there are the times that your eyes communicate what your behavior tries to hide. You broke down, kissed me and told me how you felt the other night at the Snack but then left, unable to trust me or yourself? Now's the time we should come together as Joe said to me while he was dying on the ground at Cross Karakorum but you still persist in keeping me at arms length.  
  
Oh Joji, Joji-its only been five days but how I miss you! You always were a balance to the team dynamics but more than that, you were the voice of reason to me. Even in your bitterness and insatiable hunger for revenge, you always fought to keep us united, going against Ken when he lost his father and lost his focus; you and me have always been there to drag him back to his senses. Who's going to do that now? Who's going to keep our passion for the job fresh? Who's going to be our collective rage against Galactor personified? Who's going to, Joji?   
  
Your lying there at Cross Karakorum, beaten and bloody and oh so weak blew my mind. Because in all the time we spent together training and preparing for battle that's not you, Joe, it never was you. You always seemed undeterred, like nothing would ever stand in your way in making Galactor pay for murdering your parents and stealing your childhood. You were the impulsive, moody, and angry one but you also were the one that encouraged me during training when I wanted to give up. You kept us honest and even though you pushed me away that day you were sitting on the hill, grieving over the illness in your body, I knew you appreciated the fact that I cared. And I do, Joji, so much! You are my rock, the strength I wish I could lay fame to.  
  
Right now the song I played at the Snack the other night after I let Ken leave me is playing over and over in my head, like a mantra the words are weaving themselves throughout my thoughts. You are a hunter, a soldier, a lover to me even though I don't love you the way I love Ken, you are so important to me. I have to believe you're still alive and you'll be back with us, Joji.  
  
Jun hurriedly wiped at the tears falling from her eyes as she noticed that the sun had set and the fountain lights had illuminated her bench while she was writing keeping her from noticing the deepening dusk. She got to her feet, took the journal and rushed over to her bike to get home before Jinpei could worry about her. 


	6. Ken's Journal

Part VI-KEN'S JOURNAL  
  
  
Ken taxied his plane down his airstrip and turned on the tarmac to pull the craft into his hangar. He cut the motor and pulled back the canopy to exit, pulling his gloves off and tossing them on the seat as he pulled out the black leather journal that was a carbon copy of the ones the others had. Like Jinpei, he wondered exactly how writing in a journal was going to help. Joe was gone, either dead or dying somewhere and although Ken wanted to believe he was alive, reluctantly a part of him was believing that Joe was indeed, dead.   
Ken made his way into his living quarters, stepping around discarded clothing that littered the floor of what was his living room. He wearily removed his sunglasses and pitched them on the table by the window as he set the journal down and stared at it. He sighed as he sat in a chair at the table, his chin propped in his hands as he morosely contemplated the book. The counselor had directed him to write down how he felt about his teammates, his family. After the session, he'd made a beeline for his plane, needing the calming effect of the sky as he mulled over what had taken place. The counselor was a nice enough guy, a bit intrusive as all counselors are but sharing his feelings was something alien to him except in very specific situations and with certain people.   
  
Ken sighed again as he opened the book, the blank pages both beckoning him and taunting him at the same time. Resignedly, he picked up a pen and began to write.  
  
This is a first for me. I've never kept a journal nor have I been inclined to do so. But if I have to do it I guess I'll do it.   
  
My team is my family really. At least they've been since I can remember. I lived in Hakase's house since I was 4 and my mother got sick (at the time I thought my father was dead 'cause that's what I was told). My mother died when I was 11. Joe came there when we were 8 and even though he was hard to get close to, we eventually became close like brothers. We got into scrapes together, fought each other, played games together, even talked about girls when we reached puberty. Ryu joined us when we were about 13 and although Joe used to ride him constantly about his weight, he eventually accepted him. Especially when we all were practicing our martial arts and he saw how Ryu could move so fast even with his bulk. We made quite a trio as we learned to be warriors for Hakase's secret project. Then Hakase brought Jun and Jinpei to the house. I was puzzled as to why although Jun really captivated me as soon as I saw her (even with her hair all chopped like she had it at the orphanage she and Jinpei came from). Still she was (and is) the prettiest girl I've ever seen, so lovely like the swan she's named for. And Jinpei is a scrapper, a feisty little guy who's smart as a whip and has a mouth on him like a sailor when he gets pissed. Both of them are exceptional fighters, as good at martial arts as anybody I've seen. So we trained together, all five of us, and became Kagaku Ninjatai.   
  
Hakase picked me as the leader and at times I wonder why. I mean, being commander is great most of the time but times like this it really drags me down. I have to always be together for the sake of the team, ready to mediate conflicts as they arise among members, provide encouragement, give directives, make life and death decisions, and delegate duties during missions. I can't let emotions get in the way of getting the job done. We are responsible for the safety and security of the Earth and that must come first.   
  
But it really gets to me sometimes. I mean, it's a drag not to be able to do certain things or act a certain way, especially when something happens to one of us. When I found out that the captain of Red Impulse was my father Kentaro Washio and then he proceeded to commit suicide by jumping into that damned rocket to restore the Van Allen belt and save the Earth, I was shattered. After believing what Hakase said about him being dead for so many years and then having had Jun tell me the truth that he was alive just to lose him again, I admit I really went ballistic. But I still had to keep being the leader and example. But I really screwed up, in my desire for vengeance, I almost led the team to their deaths. Joe tried to stop me and then Jun really let me have it and it was like she had thrown cold water on me, I finally came to my senses. About Joe-- I HATED leaving Joe at Cross Karakorum to go stop Katse and the Black Hole Operation but I had to, even as the team looked at me like I was crazy. I know sometimes they think I have no heart and ice water in my veins by their reaction to my decisions on the job. Joe said as much and punched me out for it more than once. But every time I've allowed my feelings dictate my actions or decisions, it was a near disaster, to the mission or to the team. They just don't realize the burden I have to carry for them.   
  
But I am a human being, a man with a heart and blood in my veins, just like them. I want so badly at times to act like a man, especially with Jun. She's everything I could ever want in a woman, strong, smart, supportive and so very beautiful. When I look at her, I just want to lose myself in her eyes, like drowning in a tree-shaded tropical lagoon. She haunts my dreams at night and when I'm sitting in my command chair on the Phoenix, I find myself glancing back at her often just to look at her. I take her with me on missions secretly glad to know that she's by my side facing danger and should we die, she's the one I'd be dying with. When we're not out on a mission or I'm not flying my plane, I spend all my time at the Snack J just to be near her. I know she loves me. She's tolerant of my huge tab at the Snack, comes and cleans up my place every week, and makes sure I eat (I wish she could cook better but you can't have everything). And she looks out for me. When I wanted to jump into the gears to stop the neutron bomb, Jun stopped me and begged me not to, that my death would kill her. My heart was touched by her sweet plea even if my head knew that I had a duty to perform but Joe's shuriken had stopped the bomb before I could. The other night I wanted to tell her that I loved her, I've loved her since the day I first saw her. I realized it the day I almost killed her while she was trapped in the jigokillers. My heart was ripped in shreds as I watched the flowers burn while I knew I had poured the fuel that fed the flames that were burning Jun alive. And when I found out that the fire didn't stop those damned flowers, I felt dead inside, I didn't care about anything, believing at the time I had needlessly killed my love. So what did I do when she came back to me, safe and alive, I slapped her. Idiot! Jinpei called me on it and he was right, I should have took her in my arms and held her tight but I was angry that she could have such an effect on me and that she had made me so frantic with worry that I struck out at her. But she never blamed me or made me feel like the heel I should have felt like. Juni, Juni, koishii-you're always there for me aren't you? Even when I'm not there for you or push you away. I love you Juni, and now that Katse is defeated I intend to show you how much if you'll let me.  
  
And now for Joe-moody, temperamental, so filled with rage toward Galactor, like me. We both hated with a passion borne of losing our families. You saw them murder your parents in cold blood and carried the hatred like a shield, to push yourself against anything that might stand in the way of you getting your revenge. But when my own insatiable thirst for revenge of my father's death caused me to lose my focus and put the team in jeopardy, you were the voice of reason and you told me to just keep my rage focused and cold like yours. You always reminded me to keep my mind on the job, never trying to usurp my authority but reminding me to get the bastards at all costs. We also discussed life and love and you called me to task about how I was handling (or mishandling either). You pointed out to me (sometimes with your fists) that I was a human being first then a commander, you helped me to figure things out. Then you refused to talk to me about what was really wrong with you and then tried to beat the crap out of me when I wouldn't let up. Asshole! Idiot! What are you trying to prove by going to the Galactor base alone, huh?! That you can die with honor? You who told me when I isolated myself from the team after my father died that rage feeds voraciously until it destroys everything including myself-well, looks like yours finally destroyed you! I am so PISSED at you that I wish you were here just so I could knock you on your ass and beat some of your own sense into you!   
  
Then, you said your last words to everyone---Ryu said for you to come back so he could kick your ass too. You told Jinpei not to ride Jun so much, that you envied them as they were like a real brother and sister-but we WERE your family---no, we ARE your family, Joe. You told Jun to get together with me and have a relationship-remember we talked about that a few times, you and me. You rode me hard about it even though you were about as successful with the opposite sex as I am. But I heard you and I plan to do something about it. You're my brother, Joe, as Ryu, Jinpei and Jun are my family and if you're alive and out there somewhere-like everyone else thinks---we'll find you.  
  
Ken put the pen down and reached over to flip on the lamp, the daylight gone as the sun set, dipping below the horizon at the end of his airstrip. He rubbed his eyes as he thought about the ever-changing feelings that beset him about the events of the last week. He sighed as he read his words, engrossed in and surprised by his own ability to clearly express his thoughts when his communicator beeped, making him instantly alert.  
  
"G-1 here."  
  
"It's G-4."  
  
"What's up?"  
  
Jinpei's voice over the bracelet sounded alarmed. "Aniki, is onechan there?"  
  
Ken frowned slightly. "Why would you think she's here, Jinpei?"  
"I just thought she might be with you. I can't get a hold of her on the communicator. She didn't come back from our meetings and I'm getting worried," Jinpei replied with more than a touch of panic in his voice.  
  
Ken felt an icy finger of concern slide down to the pit of his stomach.   
He reassured the boy in a voice that was calm in spite of his own rising trepidation. "I'm sure she's fine, pal. She just probably needed some space and she'll be home soon.  
  
"W-will you come here and wait for her with me, aniki?" Jinpei sniffled.  
  
Ken smiled, "Sure I will. I was going to come out to see you guys anyway. I'll be right over."  
  
"O-okay, G-4 out."  
  
Ken's smile faded to a frown and his frown deepened to a scowl as somewhat annoyed he began wondering where Jun could have gone and why she would turn off her communicator. Then his scowl disappeared when he realized that she had just done what he himself had done for the past four days. The grief of losing Joe was overwhelming all of them and togetherness and closeness they had always had as a team seemed to be disintegrating before his eyes. After the sessions at ISO they all just went their separate ways, not even bothering to talk to each other, each lost in their own thoughts. He admitted to himself that he was afraid to talk to the team and especially Jun, who had seemed withdrawn into her own little world. He was confused and hurt as about why she could be so remote considering the conversation that took place between them at the Snack four days ago but she all but out and out ignored him at Hakase's office.   
  
Ken then remembered something he had promised himself after the jigokillers incident. That he'd never again take it lightly when one of the team and especially Jun might be in trouble. With iron resolve he slammed the book shut, pushed his chair back and rushed out the door.  
  
It took him ten minutes to get to the Snack, taking some short cuts he'd discovered in his many trips to and from there. When he got there, Ken had barely been able to park his bike when Jinpei met him in the parking lot, rushing at him in a panic and babbling without making much sense. Ken tried to soothe the youngster and eventually got him to go back into the Snack with him to keep vigil. 


	7. Needing Each Other

Part VII-NEEDING EACH OTHER  
  
Jun turned her motorcycle onto the street that would take her to the Snack J. Her mind was filled with a combination of thoughts and feelings. She had taken a long route from the park, not wanting to go right home after she noticed the time, so she took herself for a short ride. Her emotions were in turmoil and she didn't want Jinpei to ask her too many questions, questions she knew her determined little brother would batter her with until she told him everything on her mind. She pulled into the parking lot and noticed Ken's motorcycle parked up against the curb in front of the J. Jun sighed and considered turning around and heading back out, she really was in no mood for an inquisition and she was sure that that was exactly what was inside waiting for her. Taking a deep breath, she rode the bike forward to the garage door, tapping the remote door opener then as the door rose slowly, she rode in. As she cut the motor and kicked the stand down the door leading into the diner swung open and Jinpei rushed out with Ken bringing up the rear.  
  
Jinpei launched himself at her in a fierce hug. "Onechan, we were so worried about you! Me and aniki were just about to go look for you." He looked up at her reproachfully as he pushed his face away from her, his gangly arms still clinging to her. "Where were you?"  
  
Jun smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry, I just was out riding and lost track of time." She glanced at Ken who was gazing at her with his brow furrowed in concern. She stepped lightly around her parked motorcycle with Jinpei still plastered to her waist and walked past him into the Snack.  
  
Ken followed them into the Snack and let the door close behind him in a slam. "Out riding this long? Where'd you go?" he wanted to know as he faced her.   
  
Jun pointedly ignored him and looked at Jinpei, brushing his hair lovingly from his eyes, "Are you hungry? Did you eat dinner?"  
  
He nodded, "Uh-huh. I made a casserole for both of us and there was enough for aniki so I gave him some. Yours is upstairs but it's cold now. I can nuke it for you." He pulled her to the staircase by her hand but she pulled away shaking her head.  
  
"I'm not hungry, Jinpei but thanks anyway."   
  
"You need to eat, Jun," Ken insisted softly as he stepped closer. His eyes were gently probing, twilight blue in the dim interior of the Snack. He placed his hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him.  
  
Jinpei noted the tense atmosphere between his sister and his commander so he discreetly made his way to the stairs leading to the apartment and went up.   
  
Jun sighed and sat at the booth closest to the jukebox and Ken joined her, sitting in the bench across from her without taking his eyes off her, biding his time.  
  
"I went to Utoland Park after the counseling session and sat by the Rainbow Fountain to write in a journal. The counselor said she wants me to write down my thoughts and bring them to the next session."  
  
Ken nodded, "Me too. Mine gave me a book and told me the same. It's a whole new deal for me. You know how I am about sharing my feelings."  
  
Jun sniffed in a long-suffering way, "How well I do. The original Still Waters."  
  
Ken flinched at her sarcasm. "Nice shot," he countered.  
  
"I'm sorry," Jun said, her head lowered.  
  
"It's okay, I guess I deserved it," Ken admitted with a wry grin. He reached over the table and placing his hands over hers squeezed them reassuringly.  
  
Jun smiled a sweet sad smile as they remained like that for several minutes, words at a loss. Jun studied Ken through half lowered lashes, admiring his strong jaw and his fine features. With his slightly aquiline visage he truly resembled the Eagle in all its regal glory. His deep brown hair framed his face in shaggy waves and as usual she was held enthralled by his summer sky eyes.  
  
On Ken's side, he was mesmerized by the view of Jun's ivory countenance, her jade eyes, pale pink lips that were soft as a rose petal, and raven silk hair that fell and curled up slightly at the ends. He wanted to bury his hands in the inky strands and bury her mouth beneath his mouth, crushing her body against his. Does she have any idea how lovely she is? Ken asked himself bemusedly as he continued his rapt silent regard.  
  
"Jinpei was really worried about you, why'd you shut the bracelet off?"   
  
Jun continued to avoid his gaze. Were you worried too, Ken? She shrugged, trying to be casual. "I just needed to be alone. I wanted to write without anybody peeking over my shoulder to see what I was doing. Besides, I got the impression that Jinpei wanted some space too so I gave it to him."  
Ken sighed, "I guess we're all hurting and need space. But, we shouldn't be pushing away from each other, we should be staying close."  
  
"Boy, talk about the pot calling the kettle black," Jun scoffed becoming annoyed, looking up and pinning him with her glare. "You're the worst offender, Ken. You isolate yourself from anything that requires you to show emotion." She laughed bitterly, "Duty first."  
  
Ken cringed at her vehemence. "Believe it or not, Juni I've been saying the same thing to myself these last four days. I even wrote it down in my journal today."  
  
Jun's eyes widened in mock surprise. "Really? And hell didn't freeze over? Well, how 'bout that, miracles do happen," she said derisively.  
  
"You're really pissed at me, aren't you?" Ken declared. "What'd I do?"  
  
Jun looked at him incredulously. "Are you putting me on? I mean you're kidding, right?" At his blank expression she wanted to lash out at him beginning with a tirade unleashed on his empty head. Instead she sighed and replied, "It's not what you did, Ken, it's what you didn't do. For the last four days, since you said what you said to me and left here that night you haven't bothered to call either on our bracelets or on the phone. Like we or more likely, I didn't exist."  
  
Ken lowered his head, "I-I know."   
  
"Is that all you have to say?"  
  
"What do you want me to say, Jun, huh? That I've got it all together and I'm just blowing off my job as commander and friendship to you? That I could care less that the only family I've ever known is falling apart, the three people who mean everything to me are in pain and I can't do a damned thing to help 'cause I'm falling apart too? And that I left my brother and best friend to die on some forsaken field in the heart of the enemy's camp?" Ken's tortured voice was laced with his own agony. His eyes pleaded with her in abject misery and she began to feel sorry for him as her ire seeped away.  
  
"You could've called, you know," Jun said in a small voice, her anger gone. "We're supposed to be family, helping each other through this."  
  
Before Ken could answer, the bell above the door tinkled as it opened and Ryu rushed in, huffing and puffing. "Jun, are you okay? I heard Jinpei calling for you and when you didn't answer, I got worried. I'd have been here sooner but my van wouldn't start." He plopped onto a stool trying to catch his breath.  
  
Jun smiled at him, "Relax, I'm fine, Ryu. Jinpei just pushed the panic button when I didn't respond on the bracelet but as you see I'm okay."  
  
Ryu nodded in relieved acceptance. He glanced at Ken who had his tough Eagle façade on, having put it on as soon as Ryu appeared but the big man must have seen the pained look in Ken's eyes because he said to his commander, "How you doing, Ken?"  
  
Ken grinned sadly, "I'm hanging in there, Ryu. How about you?"  
  
The big man shrugged diffidently. "Okay I guess." He didn't sound convincing. He got up and went to the stairs to Jun and Jinpei's living quarters. "I'm gonna go check on the little guy, okay Jun?"  
  
Jun nodded as Ryu clumped up the stairs. She got up, walked over to the jukebox and began flipping through the selector. Ken got up from his seat in the booth and joined her, watching over her shoulder as she went through the music. He tried to break the tension between them with small talk.  
  
"You've quite a varied selection in there," he commented mildly. It was true, she had a mixture of everything in there, from Jinpei's contribution of techno, grunge and alternative to her own collection of jazz, R & B, classic rock, blues, and folk.   
  
Jun remained silent as she idly flipped through the title selector. Her eyes fell on the number she played the other night and as she ran her hand on the title tag, she was surprised to see that Ken had placed his over it. She looked up at him questioningly.  
  
"You're right when you said before that we should be helping each other through this. Forgive me, Juni for pulling away and pushing you away." His blue eyes were earnestly pleading with her.  
  
Jun turned around carefully as not to disturb his hand resting on hers to return his regard. They seemed suspended in time, lost in each other's intent gazes when the sound of descending footsteps on the stairs broke the spell. Ryu and Jinpei came into the diner, with Jinpei carrying a small overnight bag.  
Jun's eyebrows raised quizzically as she gestured at the luggage. "And where do you think you're going?" she asked her brother.  
  
Ryu answered, "I'm heading out on my cabin cruiser for a few days and I thought I'd take Jinpei with me. It'll give you a break"  
Jun protested, "You don't have to do that, Ryu. Me and Jinpei are okay."  
  
"I want to go, onechan," Jinpei pleaded with her. "Please? I'm only gonna be gone till Sunday."  
  
"That's right, Jun. I'll bring him back then." Ryu was just as anxious for her to give her consent.  
  
Jun looked from one to the other helplessly "Okay." She bent and gave her little brother a hug and kiss. "Behave yourself and have fun."  
  
"I will, onechan." He gave her a smile and then waved at Ken who was a silent observer to the entire exchange. "Bye, aniki."  
  
Ken waved and replied, "You guys have a good time."  
Ryu and Jinpei opened the door and left the diner. Jun waved as they left, then dejectedly dropped her head. Ken took note and his heart constricted in pain for her. She sat on a stool and began in a strange, small voice, "I had no idea that it was so difficult to be with me."  
  
Ken sat in the stool next to her and gently brushed her hair from her forehead. "He probably just needs some time to himself and he figured that you'd be less likely to think he was avoiding you if he went away with Ryu," he reasoned.  
  
If he thought that his statement would be a comfort, he was wrong. Jun's shoulders shook as she sobbed, "I'm so terrible that everyone has to find reasons to avoid me. Jinpei-- you." She buried her face in her hands, crying.  
  
Ken cursed himself silently as he awkwardly tried to make amends by reaching for her. He put his arms around her and pulled her to him, wiping at her eyes lightly with his fingers in a butterfly touch. Her tears were searing his heart like a branding iron because he knew that his neglecting to contact her after being so open the other night, sharing his feelings with her had precipitated her present sense of rejection. He was truly at a loss. The last four days had been a living hell for him, mentally flogging himself continuously with guilt over Joe's death, terrified that he'd made a mistake in telling Jun how he felt, and the ever present cold vicious rage toward Galactor running like an undercurrent through it all. He had deliberately avoided making contact with the team because he had been in the midst of some serious soul-searching and even his many journeys into the sky did little to bring peace to his tormented soul, let alone the anger and blame he was sure the others felt. He imagined the three of his friends, accusation flashing at him from their eyes and the vision alone was enough to seek isolation from them so he disconnected his phone and shut off his communicator until today when Nambu summoned them to his office at ISO.   
  
Ken continued to rhythmically caress Jun's head, laid against his right shoulder, and it felt so right, so comforting to his own emotions raging within. Her sniffling began to subside as she snuggled closer, seeking ease and protection from him and he felt strange but pleased at her need of him. They sat, saying nothing just lost in their individual reveries.  
  
Finally, Jun spoke, "Ken?"  
  
"What, Juni?"  
  
She lifted her head and turned to gaze at him. "W-would you please stay with me tonight? I-I don't want to be alone," she beseeched him, her eyes wide and still glistening with tears.  
  
Ken hesitated for a split second before he acquiesced, "Sure, I'll stay here with you tonight. I'll sleep in Jinpei's room." He smiled as he brushed her hair back from her shoulder.  
  
Jun lowered her head. "I meant, would you stay in my bed with me," she barely whispered.  
  
Ken's eyes widened as he felt himself cornered. The thought of being with her in that way had crossed his mind many more times than once but to have her actually put it in words unnerved him. He felt the heat of a blush come to his cheeks as he desperately sought words to answer her. "I-I," he stammered as he drew back.  
  
Jun sighed as she saw his discomfort. "I didn't mean that way, Ken," she said in a slightly exasperating tone. "I meant, would you just lay beside me tonight and hold me as we fell asleep? I don't want to do anything else."  
  
Ken's mind was racing with all kind of thoughts, thoughts about how he would handle the reality of Jun's body against his if it ever happened and it appeared that it was going to happen tonight. The thoughts were causing his body to respond in a way that reminded him of the last time he had burned so, he woke up in the middle of the night and had to take an ice cold shower. But the last thing he wanted to do was refuse so because of her present emotional state and her feelings of being rejected, Ken found himself between the proverbial rock and hard place.  
  
"S-sure, Jun. But I don't have anything to change into."  
  
Jun breathed a sigh of relief. "That's okay. You can sleep in your shorts. I'll be wearing my nightgown. I promise to be on my best behavior, Ken, all I want tonight is your friendship and to know you're near." She grasped his arm, "Please?"  
  
Ken sighed and nodded, "Okay, Jun. I'll stay here with you tonight." He got to his feet and took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm getting tired anyway so let's go upstairs."  
  
Jun went to the glass door of the Snack to make sure it was locked securely. She then began to climb up the stairs with Ken right behind her. They got to the top of the staircase that led into the parlor/kitchen combination of the apartment where the cold covered plate of her meal sat untouched on the table. She picked the plate up and put it into the refrigerator. She then reached and flicked the overhead light off, momentarily plunging them in total darkness until she flipped on the hall light to go to the bedroom. Ken followed obediently, saying nothing.  
  
Jun turned the light on in her bedroom. The room was airy, inviting, uncluttered, and neat as a pin. There was a vanity with a brush, comb, and a tray of cosmetics, a bureau of drawers, and against the far wall and under the window, her bed. The window was cracked open and the lace curtain was billowing, gently brushing the surface of the pink flowered comforter. She slipped her shoes off and placed them beside the vanity, by her closet. She then went to the bureau and extracted a nightgown from the second drawer.   
  
Ken watched the whole process standing stiffly in the middle of the room at first, feeling ill at ease. The soft femininity of the room coupled with the gentle scent of jasmine that was Jun assaulted him as soon as he entered her inner sanctum and caused his already heightened senses to reel. Part of him wanted to bolt, get on his motorcycle and take off as fast as he could. The other part wanted to go over to her and assist her in her nocturnal preparations as she assisted him in his, concluding with him carrying her to the bed. However, he chose a middle ground, sitting himself on the edge of her bed, watching her intently.  
  
Jun turned around, "I'm going to go get ready in the bathroom. Do you need to use it?"  
  
Ken nodded continuing to stare at her, his heart hammering in his chest, "Uh, yeah, I guess I do." He got up to head to the bathroom.  
  
Jun smiled, "Okay, you go ahead. There's an extra toothbrush in the medicine cabinet." She turned and sat in the chair before the vanity to brush her lustrous ebony hair, paying him no mind.   
  
Ken indulged himself for a minute at the pretty picture she made. He took a ragged breath and then made his way to the bathroom.  
  
Jun sighed as she continued to run the brush through her hair, her thoughts on what lay ahead for the night. She began to have second thoughts as to the wisdom of asking Ken to spend the night with her for she had noticed his quiet but intense regard of her since coming into her room. Maybe temptation would serve to be too much for them but she had hated the thought of being alone. She had surreptitiously glanced at him sitting on her bed while she puttered about before he went to the bathroom and she felt the heat emanating from his gaze causing the rise of desire in her heart as it beat faster. He was sitting there, leanly muscled and his hair fell in shaggy waves below his neck to his shoulders in umber glory. He was such a beautiful man and his shyness was always appealing to her, so different from other men who had boldly approached her in the Snack. She had admired him from not so far for as long as they all were together. She got to her feet, went to the bed to turn back the covers and having done so, she sat there fluffing the pillows with a bemused look on her face, ambivalence beginning to fill her being. She heard the bathroom door open and Ken's footsteps so she shot up to her feet as he re-entered the room.  
  
Jun said in a too-bright, helpful tone, "Did you find what you needed?"  
  
Ken grinned, "Uh-huh. You can go now."  
  
"Okay. I'll get changed in there and you can get changed here." She gestured to the bed. "I pulled down the covers so you can get in when you're ready." She picked up the nightgown she had draped on the back of the vanity chair and headed out.  
  
Ken crept to the door and peeked around to make sure Jun was in the bathroom. The door was closed and the sound of running water came from within. Satisfied, he went back into Jun's room and began undressing. He doffed his shoes, socks, pants, and # 1 tee and hung them over the closet door. Clad only in his shorts, he climbed into the bed and was immediately assailed by the soft jasmine scent that had wafted throughout the room. The bed itself was semi-firm yet cloudlike in its comfort and coolness. He sighed deeply trying to defuse the rising heat in his body, feeling his heart pounding as he anticipated when Jun would join him. Almost in answer, he heard the bathroom door open and saw the hall light flick off. She padded into the room and softly closed the door.  
Ken could only stare as Jun turned the light off and made her way to the bed. She was wearing a puff sleeved empress style shorty nightgown in pale pink satin, shimmering in the moonlight streaming in from the window and skylight overhead. Her hair was hanging down curling up at the ends, midnight black, contrasting with her ivory skin. She looked like an angel as the moonlight encircled her and turned the highlights in her hair to deep blue. She sat on the edge of the bed then laid down, curling her legs under the comforter and snuggled up close to Ken who was laying with his back against the window sill facing Jun. He took his head and placed it on the pillow in a more comfortable position to gaze at her.  
  
Jun met his gaze. "Thanks so much for doing this," she whispered.  
Ken smiled, "No problem." He reached over and tucked a stray curl out of her eyes.   
  
She lay there only inches away from him, allowing herself to be drawn into the softly glowing blue orbs. Jun took a deep breath and asked him in a little-girl voice, "Uh---I hope that this won't interfere with anything you might have to do. I-I mean, I don't want to keep you from any thing important."  
  
Ken continued to smile gently, "You're not. I've been neglecting all of you long enough and especially you." He let his fingers trail lightly from her hair down her cheek to her jaw.  
  
Jun admitted demurely, "I've wanted to call you, just to see how you were doing but I figured you needed to be by yourself."  
  
"You wouldn't have been able to reach me if you did. I disconnected my phone and I had my bracelet turned off. Like you did today." Ken let his eyes search hers. "I guess you needed some time to yourself as well, huh."  
  
Jun nodded, "That's why I was at the Rainbow Fountain at the park."  
  
Ken nodded in recognition, "Ah, yes. One of your favorite places."  
  
"You have the sky, Ken, I have the fountain."  
  
"True," he agreed. "So has Jinpei been getting on your nerves and did you need a break?"  
  
Jun sighed, "No, I just wanted a quiet place after my session with the counselor. Besides," she added a touch sadly, "Jinpei's been avoiding me."  
  
Ken's eyes widened in disbelief. "Really?"  
  
Jun nodded in misery. "Uh-huh. Oh he talks to me to ask what I want for meals or where something of his is but that's all. He doesn't even argue with me anymore. He just closes himself in his room, shutting me out." She blinked back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.  
  
Ken reached his hand to cup her face and wiped the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes with his fingers. "We've all taken the loss of Joe hard and instead of coming together, we've drifted apart." He sighed deeply, "We've got to stop pushing each other away. We're still a team, still a family." He frowned thoughtfully, his eyes sad and far away.  
  
They lay quietly there, lost in their thoughts with Ken's hand still almost absently caressing Jun's silky cheek. Quietly she reached and captured his hand to hold it in hers as she gazed deeply into his haunted beautiful eyes.  
  
"You still blame yourself for Joe, don't you?" she asked with concern.  
  
Ken replied, "All day, everyday since we lost him."  
  
Jun reached with her other hand to brush his hair from his eyes. "And you think that we all blame you, don't you?" she asked softly.  
  
Ken shook his head in wonder. "How do you do it, Jun? How do you always manage to know my very thoughts?"  
  
Jun smiled, "Figuring you out isn't rocket science, Ken. All I had to do was look into your eyes and see the pain there. I know how close you were to Joe and how you take responsibility for anything that goes wrong." She lowered her lashes shyly and added, " And besides, when you hurt, I hurt."  
  
Ken was deeply moved by the sweet expression of her feelings. Added to the intoxicating scent of jasmine and her very closeness, his body was raging, making him aware only of her. He gently took his hand and grasped her chin to lift her head so he could look into her eyes. Sleep was the last thing on his mind as he allowed himself to drown in the limpid pools of her eyes, forgetting everything.  
  
Jun felt her heart pound as Ken's eyes drew her even closer. She continued to get still closer as their lips seemed on a collision course when she broke away and got out of the bed, her back facing him. In an unsteady voice she said, "I think maybe this was a mistake."  
  
Ken closed his eyes with a sigh, trying to ease the ache in his loins as he got out of the bed. He approached her and took hold of her shoulders. Jun was clutching herself with arms folded in front of her. She turned around to face him with a wry, crooked smile.  
  
"Funny, I thought it'd be you jumping out of the bed and fleeing."  
  
Ken continued to hold on to her shoulders. "The thought had occurred to me earlier but as soon as you came into the room, all I could think of was you being near." He smiled sadly and added, "But, if this is making you uptight, I'll get dressed and go."  
  
"No!" She was surprised by the vehemence in her response. Sheepishly, she reiterated, "I mean, I really don't want you to go, Ken. I want you to hold me." She bit her lip in consternation as she looked up at him with huge verdant eyes.  
  
"Okay." Ken released Jun's shoulders and took her hand gently to lead her back to the bed. "I'm not going anywhere, Juni, not if you don't want me to."  
  
He led her back into the bed, got in, and pulled her against his chest, cradling her against him. She nestled in to him, her left arm draped across his bare hairless chest and laid her head on his shoulder. Ken wrapped his other arm loosely around her, resting his hand on her flat stomach.  
"Is this okay?" he asked in a soft voice.  
"Hmmm," Jun answered, relishing the feeling of his fingers stroking her hair as she huddled in the crook of his arm.  
  
"Just relax and let sleep come," Ken said yawning as he felt the edge of drowsiness come upon him. He breathed deeply and closed his eyes.  
Easier said then done Jun said to herself as she took note of Ken's quiet journey into slumber. Following suit, she laid her head on his gently rising and falling chest as the strong steady beating of his heart pressed against her ear finally lulled her to sleep.  
  
For Ken the location was different but The Dream was the same:  
  
The fog was the consistency of pea soup, drifting wraithlike in tendrils throughout the gloom of Cross Karakorum. The Kagaku Ninjatai was split up with the order to keep radio silence so Katse's goons wouldn't know they were there. Although they had the cover of the dense fog, Galactor was hot after them, armed with the detector device that could identify and pinpoint the signals of the bracelets they communicated with. Ken sent them to cover more ground to find Joe and the Galactor base, and he found himself filled with a witches' brew of emotion, dread, fury, and a burgeoning sense of urgency. He also had a growing uneasy premonition that something was about to break in both cases and that the team was about to face both its most harrowing challenge and greatest loss. But he tried to shake off the maudlin yet nagging thought as he combed the bleak landscape, Galactor goons hot in pursuit.   
  
Ken's search was proving fruitless and he began to glumly wonder if the rest of the team was experiencing the same poor results when he heard Jun's scream into his communicator breaking the silence, saying she'd found Joe. Ken took off, his wings spread behind him as he sprinted in the general direction of the Swan's communiqué in spite of the Galactor goons spread all about, the team's cover blown. He came upon the scene he'd never forget, Condor Joe, his second, his brother, and best friend, laying prone on his back, bullet ridden with life slowly but surely seeping away. Around him was the rest of the team, huddled about, kneeling at their fallen brother's side. Ken too knelt as he angrily berated Joe for his pigheaded foolishness while his brother, in typical Joe-fashion laughed as he chided him about being lectured. He then told Jun to get together with Ken in a real relationship, Jinpei to stop fighting with Jun, and Ryu, that he was sorry for all the times he'd ridiculed him. Then Ken handed Joe his boomerang as a keepsake and made the fateful order to leave him.  
The dream then changed to a cloud-filled white room with a large judge's bench of a tribunal; Nambu in the vaunted seat of judgement and the rest of the team, Joe included, seated to the right as jurors. Ken stood before the bench as Nambu's voice intoned the theme of teamwork that was the foundation of the Kagaku Ninjatai and how he, Gatchaman, the commander was charged with violating that sacred tenet. Ken tried desperately to explain his side but to no avail, he'd been sentenced and condemned. He turned to the frozen figures of his teammates, his family, and beseeched them to believe him but it appeared to fall on deaf ears, he found only reprehension and blame in their blank stares except for the anger and accusation flashing from them, the sapphire blue one especially that burned him to his core. He sank to his knees pleading while all four surrounded him like macabre game of ring-around-the-rosie, circling and pointing their fingers, damning him with their eyes and words while he screamed for them to FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME! FORGIVE ME!   
"Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me," Ken murmured as he tossed and tried to turn in the bed. He found he couldn't because of something holding his body down....  
  
He opened his eyes and saw immediately that he wasn't at his shack, in his own bed. He slowly came to consciousness and then realized there was the unfamiliar pressure and warmth of another body laying against his, the downy black head resting on his shoulder, the lithe figure in pale pink satin curled up to him brought him to reality; he was with Jun in her room and in her bed. Fully awake, Ken studied the form of the Swan in repose; the peace of deep sleep making her appear cherubic, like a small girl with her heart-shaped face, her slender arm draped over his torso like she was clutching a favorite cuddle toy. He heard Joe's words again and pondered the thought of being in a real relationship with Jun, days filled with trips to the beach, rides in his plane, picnics where they could be alone and make new discoveries about each other. And the nights; nights of falling asleep in each other's arms, energies happily spent by hours of tender lovemaking. The dreams and fantasies that had been his private obsession and his private hell as he was iron bound by duty to his post as Gatchaman commander; dare he hope, could finally be realized now that Katse was dead and Galactor defeated.  
  
Ken gently, tenderly, reached down and planted a kiss on Jun's forehead as she sighed contentedly and snuggled closer, still deep in slumber. Ken laid his head back down and tightened his embrace of Jun as he closed his eyes and again surrendered to the escape of sleep. 


	8. Baring Souls

Part VIII-BARING SOULS  
  
Jinpei tossed and turned in the trundle cot that Ryu had set up for him in his marina house while the big man snored away in the tiny bedroom in the back. Between having his mind full and Ryu's rumbling slumber chorus, trying to get any sleep tonight for him was shaping up to be a losing battle. He sighed in annoyance as he listened to the buzzsaw symphony that streamed out from the partially closed door and cursed the fact that he had no earplugs to at least deaden the din. He propped his head on his folded arms as he stared up at the ceiling, counting cracks in the plaster and letting his brooding thoughts run free.  
  
Jinpei thought about Jun and he hoped that she wasn't spending the night alone, crumpled on the floor of the Snack J, like he found her four nights ago. As grateful as he was when Ken came right out when he called him earlier, he was still miffed at him for leaving his sister the other night, especially when he had promised to stay with her. Jinpei wondered if Ken had done the same thing tonight as before, beat a hasty retreat from his big sister now when she really needed him. Aniki, can be so dense at times, it's amazing that he's our commander, onechan really needs him to be there for her and he should let her be there for him. I wish I had someone to be here and just listen to me or hold me while I cried. Onechan does but I don't want to bother her now. Something has happened between her and aniki, I just know it, they're really acting strange toward each other.  
  
I really wish Maria was around. I've been thinking about her a lot lately and what wouldn't I give to talk to her all about this, to put my arms around her and cry into her silky golden hair. Aniki had told me that it was impossible to have a girlfriend and be a Science Ninja but he could talk, he always had onechan, and she's always there if he needs her even if he's too stupid to act on it. But, what about me? I need someone to be there especially for me and no one else.  
  
Jinpei's thoughts were interrupted as he spied the shadow of Ryu's bulk as he entered the kitchenette to open the refrigerator to get a drink. The brief illumination of the interior light was extinguished as Ryu closed the door. He walked over to the cot.  
  
"Jinpei? Are you asleep?"  
  
"Nope. Can't sleep," the youngster answered as Ryu pulled up and straddled a chair beside the cot.  
  
"Wanna talk?"  
  
Jinpei sat up. "Uh-huh." He rubbed his eyes as Ryu reached over and switched on a lamp on the end table.  
  
"Okay, shoot."  
  
Jinpei eyed his best friend intently. "Ryu, do you ever get lonely?"  
Ryu leaned back and scratched his head thoughtfully. "Sometimes," he admitted. "And sometimes I prefer being by myself."  
  
Jinpei sighed impatiently, "I don't mean lonely in general. I mean, do you ever get lonely for a girl?"  
  
Ryu pursed his lips in thought. "Ah I get it. You want a girlfriend."  
  
Jinpei nodded, "Since Galactor and Katse are defeated, why shouldn't we begin to think about having normal lives?"  
  
Ryu pondered that statement as he nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, I do get lonely for a girl. I'd love to find a girl to share things with me."  
  
Jinpei sighed, "I've been thinking about Maria a lot lately. Boy, I wish I could see her again so I could talk to her," he added in a wistful manner.  
Ryu asked, "What would you talk to her about?"  
  
"Everything," Jinpei replied in a dreamy tone. "About my life, my dreams, my plans. About Joe-aniki and you and onechan and aniki."  
  
Ryu nodded in agreement. "I'd like to have someone to share those things with, too," he sighed longingly.  
  
"Aniki is so lucky, he has onechan but he doesn't care," Jinpei grumbled, his anger toward Ken reigniting. "He doesn't care about anything."  
  
Ryu patted the boy's shoulder. "You're wrong, Jinpei he does care. He cares for all of us. And he loves your sister very much."  
  
Jinpei sniffed derisively, "Yeah, well he has a funny way of showing it." He shook his head, "Sorry, Ryu but I've heard onechan cry over him too many times to believe that."  
  
"I know that sometimes it seems that he doesn't care but take it from me, I know for a fact that he does."  
  
Jinpei eyed him quizzically. "How do you know?" he demanded.  
  
Ryu gazed steadily at his friend. "I saw how torn up he was when we thought she died in the jigokillers."  
  
"Yeah right. Then he goes and slaps her when she comes up to him after we find her. Sorry Ryu, but you'll have to tell me a lot more than that to convince me that he cares. Especially after the way we came back to the J and found her the other night after he promised me he'd look after her. He's blown all of us off since the day--" Jinpei left off with a scowl.   
  
"I know." Ryu tried to reason with the irate youth. "Look, buddy, Ken's got a lot of responsibility to the whole team. He has to make decisions that effect all of us. But he's human and he makes mistakes like we all do and to judge him is wrong. And right now, he's feeling really guilty about Joe."  
  
"He should. We never should've left Joe-aniki there."  
  
"True, but we had a job to do and we had to go and do it."  
  
Jinpei frowned thoughtfully and nodded reluctantly. "I guess so," he admitted grudgingly as he laid his head down.  
  
Ryu stretched and yawned as he glanced at the glowing digital clock on his table. "Hey, pal it's almost 1:00. We'd better get some shut-eye if we're gonna get up at 6:00 to get out to those fish." He patted Jinpei's head as he turned off the lamp and rose to head back to his room.  
  
"Ryu?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Ryu grinned, "Anytime, Jinpei. Now go to sleep."  
  
"Okay," he said as he drifted off.  
The early morning sun was sending its warm rays in through the window and skylight, making Jun's room bright with daylight and it filtered through the lace curtains onto the still sleeping forms of the Eagle and the Swan. They lay together, Jun's back against Ken's chest with his face buried deep into the nape of her neck as they both teetered on the brink of wakefulness. Ken's eyes blinked open and he breathed deeply of the soft jasmine scent that had so inundated his senses since last night as his arms encircled the satin covered form pressed up against him.  
  
Ken closed and opened his eyes a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When he was convinced that he was indeed awake and that it was Jun actually in his arms, he allowed himself the luxury of letting his mind wool gather as he admired the beautiful girl snuggled up against him. Still in the arms of Morpheus, in the early morning light Jun resembled a child, all purity in pale pink and white. Her raven locks were spread behind her, splayed against her pillow. Ken sighed as he savored the way the silken strands felt against his cheek and tickled his nose. He moved as Jun stirred like a slumbering cat, stretching her arms sinuously. He noticed that she was slowly coming awake.  
  
Jun took a deep breath and turned her head to face the window and greet the day like she did every morning. Her eyes opened slowly and focused on the cerulean blue of the sky peeking through the lace curtains. Her vision then fell on a pair of dark lashed smiling eyes of the exact same color, regarding her with affection. Jun returned the smile as she came to full wakefulness and she turned herself fully to face Ken who lay there watching her, his gaze as warm as the breeze from the window. She felt an inward tingle from his gentle appraisal.  
  
She raised a hand to her mouth and yawned. "Good morning, Ken."  
  
He grinned lazily at her. "Good morning to you, too."  
  
"Did you sleep okay?"  
  
"Uh-huh. You?"  
  
"Hmmm." She yawned again. "First real rest I've had in over a week." She rolled on her side and rested her head on her hand. "How about you?"  
  
Ken nodded, "Aa. Slept better than I expected to. This bed's very comfortable."  
  
"It wasn't-too hard, was it?" Jun asked hopefully, referring to the sleeping arrangements.  
  
Ken considered her for a moment as he tried to think of an answer. "It was a bit of a struggle till I actually fell asleep," he replied truthfully.  
  
Jun bit her lip. "I'm sorry if I caused any problems. I just couldn't be alone last night." She turned herself away to leave but he reached to grasp her shoulder to stop her.  
  
"Juni," Ken said softly. She turned to look apologetically at him. "Don't be sorry for making a way for me to finally sleep through the night," he added, taking her chin in his hand to raise her head to meet his gaze. "Lately, I haven't been sleeping that great, either."  
  
They regarded each other deeply for a moment as Jun gently pulled away to sit up and get out of the bed. Ken watched her as she reached in the closet and donned a white short robe. She self-consciously ran a hand through her hair as she slid into a pair of fuzzy pink slippers.  
  
"You hungry?" she asked over her shoulder as she headed for the door.  
  
"Kind of." He got to his feet and reached for his trousers. He sat on the side of the bed to put them on. "You going to make breakfast?" he asked with a touch of wonder.  
  
Jun giggled at his amazed expression, "Don't look so surprised. I can manage to make coffee and something edible without turning it to charcoal, my reputation not withstanding." She turned and entered the hall. "Coffee'll be up in just a bit," she said over her shoulder.  
  
Ken sighed as he ran a hand through his unruly mahogany mane. He reached for one of Jun's combs and ran it through the stubborn locks, trying to tame them into some semblance of order. He finally gave up when it appeared that his hair was resisting the effort and he caught the whiff of freshly brewed coffee drifting into the room from the kitchen. He got up, disgustedly tossed the comb on Jun's vanity and joined her in the kitchen.   
  
The kitchen in the apartment above the Snack J was actually a kitchenette that segued into the living area making a single room like a loft with the table where Jun and Jinpei took meals as a divider of the room. Ken took a seat where an empty mug with a spoon waited along with a creamer and sugar bowl. Jun, facing the counter, placed slices of bread into the toaster and pushed the lever down. She turned and carried the fresh coffee to the table to pour into Ken's mug. "I'm making some toast, okay? I also have instant waffles if you want." She went to the refrigerator to get butter, jam, and marmalade to place on the table.  
  
"Coffee and toast will be fine."  
  
Jun smiled warmly as she poured herself some coffee. She sat in the chair across from Ken and silently fixed the coffee to her liking, sipping the steaming liquid as he examined her with his intense azure eyes and a strange little smile curving his lips. She regarded him questioningly as she felt herself getting flustered, blushing from his uncustomary attention.  
  
"What?" she asked a touch sharply.  
  
Ken continued to smile. "Nothing. I was just wondering if you look this cute every morning."  
  
Jun smiled shyly He's flirting with me! This is definitely is an unexpected but pleasant surprise. "Excuse me?" she asked coyly.  
  
Eyes twinkling, Ken opened his mouth to say something else but the sound of footsteps in the Snack interrupted his train of thought as he turned his head toward the sound. The door at the foot of the stairs to the apartment wrenched open and the figures of Jinpei and Ryu chambered up the stairs in somewhat heated debate.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me last night that you didn't have an extra pole? I'd have taken mine with me last night!" Jinpei snapped as he stomped up the stairs.  
  
"I thought that you did take it," Ryu countered in an annoyed tone. "Now we'll have to go deep out to get anything and we'd better hurry to do that or the day's gonna be shot."  
  
"And when are you gonna put that piece of junk you call a van out of its misery? It took us a half hour to finally get the damn thing started." Jinpei railed as he reached the top of the stairs. His eyes widened in surprise.   
  
"Aniki, you're here!"  
  
Ryu followed right behind and he too registered surprise at seeing Ken sitting there with Jun, both in an obvious state of undress. Although Ken had donned his pants, he remained bare chested as he joined Jun in her robe for coffee and that is what Jinpei and Ryu viewed as they came into the room.   
  
Ryu's face was turning a bright shade of crimson as he stuttered, "Ah-ah."  
  
Jun hurried to soothe the Owl's embarrassment. "It's okay, Ryu. Ken just spent the night here with me 'cause I didn't want to be alone. We're having some toast and coffee."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to explain anything to me," Ryu said, still looking a bit uncomfortable.  
  
"Toast? So that's what's causing all that smoke," Jinpei said sniffing the air and pointing to the toaster.  
  
"Oh!"  
  
With a shriek Jun leapt up from the table and scampered to the counter where the toaster was sending billows of smoke up to the ceiling. Jinpei snickered as the two charred pieces of toast popped up, sending the smell of burned bread throughout the room. Ken got up from the table and opened the window to let the smoke out.  
  
Jun blushed and hung her head as Jinpei scoffed, "Well, onechan your record still stands. Worst cook in Utoland, unchallenged." Jun turned away from her teammates with tears spilling from her eyes and sat on the sofa dejected and utterly humiliated.  
  
Spotting Jun's distress, Ken strode over to the table and with his hands on his hips regarded Jinpei with a scowl. "Jinpei, that's enough. Your attempt to be funny isn't appreciated," he said curtly in his best Eagle manner. He went to Jun to sit beside her and put a protective arm around her slumped shoulders as he cast a wrathful glance at the now repentant youth.  
  
"I'm sorry, aniki," Jinpei murmured, cowed before his commander.  
  
"Don't apologize to me, Jun's the one you need to say you're sorry to," Ken ordered, his tone brooking no disobedience.  
  
Shamefaced, Jinpei docilely approached his sister. "I-I'm sorry, onechan. You know I don't mean to say anything to hurt you, I love you." He rushed at her and buried his head into her stomach in a bear hug.  
  
Jun wiped away her tears and smiled tremulously, "It's okay, Jinpei. I know you do. I didn't mean to get so upset. You're right, I am a terrible cook."  
  
"That's okay, onechan. As long as I'm around, I'll cook for you and take care of you," Jinpei declared.  
  
Jun smiled gratefully at her little brother. "Maybe you can teach me. As you always say, I need to learn to cook if I ever hope to get married someday," she admitted ruefully, her eyes downcast.  
  
"To a man in love, there's more to a woman than just her being able to cook," Ken said as he squeezed her shoulder in a comforting way. Jun gazed at him with a fond look.  
  
Ryu caught the glances and action that transpired between the Eagle and the Swan and cleared his throat. "Uh, Jinpei, why don't you get that fishing gear of yours so we can get going, okay?"  
  
"Huh?" Jinpei said blankly.  
  
"Let's get going," the Owl said firmly, pushing the protesting Swallow toward his room.  
  
Jun watched with wonder as she turned to Ken. "You get the feeling that we've been granted privacy?"  
  
Ken chuckled, "That's our Ryu. He can be quite perceptive at times."  
  
Jun agreed, "He does have his moments." She shrugged apologetically, "I'm sorry about the toast."  
  
He grinned, "That's okay. Why don't we both get dressed and I'll take you out for breakfast."  
  
Jun smiled sweetly at him. "Uh-huh."  
  
Ryu and Jinpei came out carrying Jinpei's fishing pole and tackle box. They trouped over to the stairs and Ryu said, "We'll be seeing you, Jun. Ken," he added barely meeting his commander's eyes.  
  
Jinpei eyed the two with a smirk, "Be good and if you can't be good, be careful." Ryu grabbed the giggling youth by his shoulders and pushed him down the stairs as Ken launched a pillow at the departing pair.  
  
Jun shook her head in a tolerant manner. "He always has to have the last word."  
  
"Yeah, well he needs to have a serious attitude check. He doesn't have to be teasing you all the time, there still is something called respect. After all, if it weren't for you, he'd have probably died on the street where you found him," Ken pointed out, getting to his feet and frowning at the stairs.  
  
Jun felt a warm glow grow inside her at Ken's show of protectiveness. Having grown up with Jinpei, she learned a long time ago how to handle his quicksilver tempers and his relentless teasing. And being a part of Kagaku Ninjatai, she could easily handle anything that came her way. But she was pleased by Ken's desire to champion her.  
  
She rose from the sofa, stretched then went over to Ken and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, let's go get dressed, I'm hungry."  
  
Ken turned and grinned at her. "After you, my lady." He made a courtier's bow and gestured with his hand.  
  
Jun giggled and headed to the bedroom with Ken following. 


	9. Coming to Terms

Part IX--COMING TO TERMS  
The second counseling sessions at ISO for the Gatchaman team was due to begin. The four youths were seated in Nambu's office, waiting to be picked up by their prospective counselors. They were all carrying their identical black leather journals, having done the assignment that was requested of them. As before, Ryu and Jinpei were chatting among themselves on one sofa and Ken and Jun sat wordlessly on the other. However, unlike the previous time, there was no tension between them, but a quiet atmosphere of intimacy signified by the discreet way they held hands, hidden under a cushion placed strategically between them.   
  
The past week had been a time of the team coming back to each other after having isolated themselves in their own individual grief. Jinpei and Ryu spent several days out on Ryu's cabin cruiser, one of three boats he owns, fishing and talking about the team, Joe, and life in general. They discussed all subjects in both deep and light veins, and strengthened their already solid friendship.  
Ken and Jun, however, were the picture of ambivalence. Both had very pertinent misgivings about changing the comfortable relationship that they had maintained for the two years they had fought side by side. But now with Katse and Galactor gone, both also wanted the dormant yearnings that had inundated them since the day they first laid eyes on each other to come to the surface. They knew that they not only owed it to each other but also to Joe, whose last words had replayed over and over again to their individual subconscious.   
  
It started with the breakfast date and segued into several dinner dates, some motorcycle rides, a few trips to the beach, and even a long flight together. To accomplish that, Ken had managed to have Jun sit with him in his seat on his plane with his legs and his arms wrapped around her and was able to hold on to the rudder to steer while managing the throttle with his leg pressed against hers. And they talked about everything together, either at the Snack, where she would play many of her favorite songs for him on her guitar which soon became his favorites, or at his shack, where he shared his magnificent obsession with any kind of aircraft.   
  
Ken also allowed Jun into the most private area of his life, his past with his parents before Galactor ripped everything to shreds and his father's slavish devotion to duty sent him away. One day in his shack, he took out the slim scrapbook that his mother had left him when she passed away and sat down by Jun to show it to her. He smiled as he showed her his baby pictures, the lock of downy mahogany hair lovingly preserved from his first haircut, and the pictures of his first steps. But when he showed her the pictures of him with his father, his eyes clouded as he remembered the anguish of losing his father twice and then as he pointed out the beautiful shots of his mother, her own losing battle with leukemia. At this Jun tenderly held him, letting him release as he agonized about all the losses he had endured in his short life. She marveled at the spitting image resemblance between Ken and his mother, he had her clear azure eyes, her hair and her fine featured face. And then, Jun shared with Ken about her life at the orphanage, how lonely and abandoned she felt while still being a big sister to Jinpei and the very vague memories of her mother, which brought the occasional tears. During those times, Ken held her close to his heart, vowing that she would never again feel abandoned or alone as long as he had anything to say or do about it.  
  
They also lost themselves in each other physically as they at first tentatively experimented with their bodies in times of passionate expression. Then, pent up feelings would come bursting forth like a gusher, as both Ken and Jun eagerly let their fingers travel the length of their bodies, eliciting sensations that both had only dreamed of before. The one boundary that had stood between them was gone so the two very youthful, very much in love individuals; the Eagle and the Swan basked in the glow of their mutual regard as they experienced true love for the first time.  
  
The door opened and Nambu entered with the four counselors trailing behind him. He stood before the occupied sofas in his office. He gazed at his foster children with a mixture of concern and affection.  
  
"Glad you're all here, everyone," he addressed the group while taking note of the close proximity of Ken and Jun as they sat there, their eyes trained on the doctor. He stifled a slight frown as the old feeling of disapproval arose as he continued. "Your sessions are ready to begin so if you'll all pair off with your counselor of the last time, the rooms are ready."  
  
The Gatchaman team members got to their feet and each stepped toward the counselor that had been their individual therapist. They were carrying the journals they had started after the initial session as requested and with shared looks of encouragement to each other, they went their separate ways.  
  
The room that Ken and his counselor used was a conference room situated down the hall from Nambu's office. Ken and his counselor, a tall intense young man with piercing eyes by the name of Shou, took seats across from each other at the table. They examined each other in similar yet diametrically different manners; Ken with slight wariness for Shou's eyes made him uncomfortable.   
  
Shou regarded the Eagle evenly. "So Ken, how's everything going?"  
  
"Okay, I guess."  
  
"You're not sure?"  
  
Ken sighed, "I'm okay."  
  
Shou opened his notebook and scribbled something down.  
  
"How's the week been?"  
  
"Kind of slow," Ken replied. "I'm trying to get used to regular civilian life. And I'm trying to get my air courier business growing."  
  
"Ah, I see. While commanding the Ninjatai, you really didn't have time for that."  
  
"No I didn't."  
  
"Serving on the team didn't leave you much time for anything really."  
  
"No, not really. But it was okay for me 'cause being on the team was enough."  
  
Shou again pinned Ken with his eyes as he wrote more notes. "So you had no desire for anything else in your life beside the team. All of your important relationships were confined to the team."  
  
"Battling Galactor took all my time and attention. Anyone outside of the team couldn't understand," Ken reasoned.  
  
Shou nodded as he continued writing. "So even in down time, you just stuck to relationships with your teammates."  
  
Ken was getting annoyed at the man's irritating grasp of the obvious.   
  
"Shou, as you work for the ISO, I'm sure you can understand that my life is dedicated to the ultimate defeat of Galactor."  
  
Shou put his pen down and made a steeple of his fingers as he scrutinized Ken. "Ken, what I think is not important here, what you think is."  
  
Ha, a typical evasive statement by a shrink to draw the subject out.   
  
"Well, Shou, so far you're batting a thousand in stating everything I believe about my life so what's the purpose of all this?"  
  
"You're getting defensive, Ken." More writing. "I'm picking up some latent hostility."  
  
Ken tried to hold onto his temper. "I just feel that this is a waste of time. Both yours and mine."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Ken took a deep breath. "Because, talking about how I feel about things that have happened is pointless. It won't turn the clock back, It won't bring Joe back, it won't bring my father back."  
  
Shou jotted down the statement then looked up. "No, but to get to a point where you'll be able to go forward in your life, you need to come to terms with your unresolved feelings about your losses." He wrote another line down and tried a different tact. "Have you written in your journal?"  
  
Ken shoved the volume over. "Be my guest," he said laconically.  
"I'd rather you read it to me."  
  
Sighing, Ken picked up the leather tome and flipped it open. He began to read the passages he had written, dutifully as always, doing what he was asked whether he liked it or not. It irked him that this perfect stranger, had the nerve and the right to ask him to do what he had just begun to feel comfortable doing with Jun, the one person who meant everything to him, which was share his feelings. But respecting his need for privacy even she hadn't asked for him to share his journal with her nor did he ask her to share hers with him. However, he read the essay to Shou as he requested and the latter scribbled notes all during the recitation.  
  
When Ken had finished and closed his journal, Shou ceased writing and leaned on the table to gaze intently into his eyes. It unnerved him.  
  
"Ken, I noticed that the two team members you spent most of your time describing were Jun and Joe. Why is that?"  
  
Ken bristled as if Shou had tossed a gauntlet at him. "I think that what I wrote should make that fairly obvious," he replied icily.  
  
"Can't you elaborate on that?"  
  
"What's there to elaborate on? I care deeply for both of them. Joe is my best friend and my brother, we grew up together. And Jun, well she's," Ken started and faltered. He took a deep breath and continued, "She's the girl I love."  
  
Shou studied the Eagle intently. "Why did you hesitate so?"  
  
Ken was getting extremely annoyed by the probing of this intensely personal area. "I wasn't aware I hesitated," he countered.  
  
"You're defensive and evasive."  
  
Ken lost his patience. "Look, Shou, I'm not used to 'baring my soul' to anybody. And I'm finding that having to do it with a total stranger bothers me."  
  
Shou's gaze never wavered. "What about your father, Ken?"  
  
Ken's eyes widened at the audacity of the question then narrowed guardedly. "My father is dead," he said in a soft, toneless manner. "Next question."  
  
"No, Ken, let's stay on this. The death of your father affected you greatly. You mentioned that in your journal. So how did you deal with that?"  
  
Ken sighed, "Not well."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"You looked at the mission reports haven't you. I mean, they are declassified public domain now aren't they?" Ken pointed out. The mission reports described the basic outcome and the incidents that occurred during the two years worth of missions including captures and escapes of the team but did not go into detail. They were mostly for the purpose to release information to the press.  
  
"I'd like to hear from you."  
  
Ken averted his eyes for the first time. "I fell apart. Literally, figuratively, you name it. I was filled with an almost fanatical desire for revenge, and I used that to drive my team into a situation that very nearly finished us. Joe tried to stop me but I was too far gone to listen to him. I finally got my head together when Jun yelled at me, calling me useless."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"She said that I was going on and on about my father and she reminded me that she and Jinpei were orphans and they hadn't let that effect their work with the team. She then recounted that Jinpei was younger than me and he never carried on about his family," Ken replied, flinching as he remembered the incident all over again.  
  
"Why did Jun's chastising of you bring you back to your senses?"  
  
Ken pondered the question, his hand on his chin. "I guess because she's always supported whatever I did without question. For her to yell at me was unnatural and unexpected, I was totally shocked."  
  
Shou wrote some notes then gazed at Ken. "You figured if you were losing the support of your biggest fan, that you had gone past the limit of reason."  
  
Ken nodded, "Yeah."  
  
Shou leaned closer. "Tell me more about your feelings for Jun. It's very relevant that it was she who made you realize that your grief about your father was destructive. Why is that?"  
  
Ken leaned back and sighed. "I guess because I trust her judgement more than anyone else about things. And she truly understands me, better than anyone since my mother died."  
  
"In your journal, you said you loved her. And you told me just now that she's the girl you love. Have you told her how you feel?"  
  
"No, not yet."  
  
"Have you ever loved any other girl?"  
  
Ken closed his eyes as he remembered the time he tried to help the ISO scientist Boronbo and his daughter Rumi flee from Galactor. He had been attracted to the lovely Rumi when he saw her picture, because she had resembled Jun; ebony hair, ivory skin with luminous eyes. He had rescued her from the hidden dungeon she had been enprisoned in and she had been so grateful, she had wanted to see him behind his visor. But he turned her over to her father and disappeared. He saw her on the train he took home but still bound by duty, he acted like he didn't know her when she confronted him. Later, when he rejoined the team, he'd felt guilty about his attraction to Rumi and the regret he felt at not being able to pursue her. Jun had picked up on it but again to her credit, she said nothing.  
  
Shou sat waiting. "Ken?"  
  
Ken shook himself out of his reverie. "Ah, no. I never bothered to seek out any other girls because of my duty to Kagaku Ninjatai."  
  
"So Jun is the only girl you've ever been close to?"  
  
"Uh-huh. Hakase brought her and Jinpei to Utoland when we were younger. When I first saw her, I was 14 and I was dazzled," Ken said with a somewhat dreamy look in his eyes.  
  
"Describe her to me."  
  
Ken took a deep breath and began almost reverently. "Long black hair, big green eyes, a beautiful face with delicate features, a terrific body, intelligent, sensitive, caring, expert in demolitions, computer whiz, communications genius, superb fighter." He sounded little like the commander but every bit the lovesick swain.  
  
Shou jotted down every word. "You've quite a dossier on your teammate. How did you deal with these feelings, working so closely with her?"   
  
Ken sighed and said flatly, "I didn't. I was her commander and I couldn't afford to allow either one of us to let feelings interfere with us getting our jobs done."  
  
"So you repressed your feelings for Jun and pushed her away?"  
  
"That's about the size of it. But sometimes the feelings came out anyway and neither of us could help it."  
  
"When?"  
  
Ken sighed again, "On a few of the missions we went on, when either of us had come to the brink of dying."  
  
"When you both were faced with the possibility of losing the other, then."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Shou looked up. "You wrote in your journal about an incident that told of you having to set some killer flowers on fire. You and the team thought that Jun was trapped inside of one---"   
  
"She was trapped inside and captured by Galactor," Ken snapped.  
  
Shou ignored the outburst and continued. "You thought you had killed her. How did that make you feel?"  
  
Ken closed his eyes and grimaced in pain as if he were living the whole ordeal all over again. "Like someone had ripped my heart and soul out and left me utterly empty inside. I didn't care about anything. Until Red Imp-my father confronted me and literally beat sense into me to go out and find her body if she really was dead."  
  
Shou studied Ken with his intense eyes. "Isn't it interesting Ken, that the two people who had gotten through to you when you've lost focus in the past were your father and Jun."  
  
Ken made a noncommittal grunt.  
  
Shou changed tact. "Let's talk about Joe now. You wrote in anger about him in your journal, how you wanted to---"  
  
"Kick his ass," Ken finished.  
  
Shou nodded and asked, "Why?"  
  
"Because he disobeyed my orders! Because his stupid, pig-headed stubborn act got him killed! Because he forced me into again making a choice between saving one of my family and fulfilling my duty! Because he never told me how really sick he was," Ken raged, his voice raised in a mixture of fury and agony. He closed his eyes as he felt the sting of hot tears behind his lids. "Because he proved the point that anyone I love is destined to die prematurely and leave me all alone."  
  
The room was silent, as both men were rendered speechless by the raw emotion that hung in the air like an acrid cloud. Ken sighed deeply, tiredly as if he had just completed a long journey or an arduous task. He felt purged and naked at the same time.  
  
Shou pushed his notebook aside. "I think that's it for today, Ken. Keep writing in the journal and this time I want you to write why you feel so responsible for the deaths and losses in your life." He got to his feet. "We'll discuss those issues during the next session." He picked up his notebook and turned to exit the room, leaving Ken there with head bowed, his eyes still closed.  
  
He had remained in that position an undetermined period of time when there was a timid knock on the door and Jun tentatively approached him as he was, still sitting at the table with his head down in his folded arms. She took a seat next to him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. She began massaging his tensed shoulders and muscles in a soothing way. He sighed deeply as he allowed her ministrations to ease his body and his tortured psyche.  
  
"Juni," he rasped, his voice still heavy with emotion. He looked up at her and the pain etched in his tear stained blue eyes shocked her. "Please don't ever leave me." He crushed her in his arms and laid his head on her shoulder as he sobbed.  
  
"Ken," Jun said softly as she rhythmically caressed him. "You don't have to worry. I'll always be here for you. No matter what happens, you'll always have me."  
  
"I-I'm sorry I had us leave Joe at Cross Karakorum. Forgive me?"  
  
"It's okay, Ken, I do." She continued her caresses.   
  
Ryu and Jinpei had been watching from the door and came over to the table where Ken and Jun sat. Ken was oblivious to anyone else but Jun, who he clung to like a drowning man. Ryu and Jinpei were silent, worry across their faces but Jun signaled to them to leave so they did as she bade, exiting as silently as they came, closing the door quietly as they left.  
  
Ken pulled away and Jun took a tissue out of a box on the table to dab at his wet eyes. He grinned crookedly at her. "The mighty Eagle has fallen, huh?"  
  
Jun shook her head. "I don't know why you feel that you have to be so indestructible in front of me. You're not made of stone, you know."  
  
Ken nodded as he gazed at her. "Jun, I need two things right now, the peace of the sky and you. So how about coming with me to the airfield to go flying?"  
  
"It was a bit cramped the last time you took me in your plane," she reminded him. "And wasn't it hard to work the throttle?"  
  
Ken grinned, "Yeah, but that's why it has an auto pilot button."  
  
Jun shook her head with a smile. "Sure."  
  
Ken smiled gratefully as they both got to their feet. He took her elbow. "Let's go then." 


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue-NEW BEGININGS   
  
  
The counseling sessions at ISO, dreaded and resented by the team at first, were finally serving the purpose of helping the Gatchaman team to heal from the loss of Joe. Ken, Jun, Jinpei and Ryu were all responding to the therapy in positive and progressive ways, venting and unburdening themselves to the objective, trained therapists and then coming together to share with each other. The team was bonding once more as each individual was coming to terms with the grief from loss as well as other issues that had come to surface during the sessions. Although Ryu's issues were mostly centered on a slight lack of self-esteem, he for the most part had what the counselors considered the best adjusted psyche. His sessions stopped after only three weeks when it was determined that he was grieving normally. Jinpei was next, even though he was counseled on getting a better hold on his emotions. His age however was taken into consideration and the counselors all agreed that as he reached maturity, he would handle circumstances in a less temperamental fashion. Ken and Jun were a different story as their counselors began to compare notes on the emotional upheaval present in them both due to Joe's loss and their own latent but newly surfacing passion for each other. Both counselors had unearthed enough psychological fodder in the Eagle and the Swan to keep the sessions for both going on with joint sessions on occasion. This rankled Ken for with each session he began to feel more exposed and he began to resent the sessions with Shou especially. Jun found her own sessions disconcerting too as her counselor, Mari who had tried to put a Freudian spin on the sessions and became more and more intrusive. Thoroughly annoyed, Ken and Jun went to Nambu for his help in halting the sessions, deciding that enough was enough. Nambu listened and agreed with his foster son and daughter and had the sessions ended. Both Ken and Jun heaved a collective sigh of relief but made the private decision to continue writing in their journals. And as they spent more time together, either at his shack or the Snack, they continued to lower old barriers, share thoughts and dreams, and allowed each other to help the other heal.  
  
Jun and Jinpei were once more devoted to each other as brother and sister. Remembering with regret the way he had shamed his sister before and keeping uppermost in his mind Joe's last words to him, Jinpei treated Jun with care and consideration, even when he became annoyed with her. He appeared by all intents and purposes to be turning over a new leaf. Jun was surprised then pleased by her little brother's efforts to be agreeable and rewarded his efforts with her own actions of showing her care by really listening to him when he asked to talk seriously and not scolding him as much when he got on her nerves. He even began to teach Jun some basic kitchen skills and fundamentals about cooking. She didn't enjoy it any more than she had previously but she was determined to learn enough to be able to go over to Ken's and cook for him. Coming over daily, Ryu and Ken watched the two with approval as the harmonious atmosphere was felt as soon as they entered the J.   
  
After a month and a half, Jun had decided that it was time to reopen the Snack J. Her resources had been dwindling and the need for income was getting serious. So she had flyers made up and distributed at the local university campuses in time for the fall semester and the Snack again was the favored hangout for the college crowds. And they came and crowded the place daily from the late afternoon hours until the early AM. With the large crowds she was garnering, Jun had soon made up enough in revenue to eventually hire a house band that she could play guitar with.   
  
When not working on his air delivery business, Ken frequented the Snack even more than he used to, especially with the varied and sometimes jaded clientele that the club was attracting. Both he and Ryu acted as impromptu bouncers when the rowdies would begin their alcohol-soaked battles on the dance floor or occasional overly rambunctious college underclassmen would imbibe too much. Although he knew Jun was more than able to fend for herself, Ken also would move quickly to douse the numerous overly amorous advances made toward her as she served, making it clear to the offending parties that she was spoken for. He spent his evenings sitting at the bar conversing with Ryu and Jinpei, all while keeping a vigilant eye on the petite form in white pinstriped jeans and making sure that he was available should she need him. Ryu and Jinpei watched their commander surreptitiously in amusement as he forcibly made sure the Swan remained unmolested among the nightly throng. They both were glad that he didn't have his boomerang anymore because he would have probably decapitated a few of the wannabe suitors if he had.  
  
They all had faced the inevitable, turning in the bracelets that transformed them into the birdstyle clad Kagaku Ninjatai. That was an emotional time, for it truly had signified the end of an era for them, and each member said good-bye to the God Phoenix, remembering the many, many forays she had gotten them through and then back home again. This was hardest on Ryu, who looked upon the Phoenix as his very own like any captain of a great battleship being retired. However, because the ability to transform was initiated by the bracelets, the individual vehicles could be retained for each person's private use. As far as the Condor machine was concerned, it was retired with the God Phoenix for its owner was gone and it remained nested in the nose of the huge airship, headed for mothballs. This was also a sorrowful endeavor for the team for it was another indication that their comrade was truly gone.   
  
Joe's trailer was also relegated to storage, for it remained unoccupied and the trailer park had asked that it be removed in order to rent the space to someone else. Ken decided to take on the task, with Jun's assistance and together they packed Joe's meager personal effects in boxes, cleaned what food he had out of his nearly empty refrigerator and cabinets, and then had the trailer moved to a remote area off of Ken's private airstrip. It took a short amount of time to accomplish the task, for the Condor had led a spartan existence and lived with bare boned simplicity. Although they had packed everything, neither Ken nor Jun could bring themselves to make a move to take the things to a charitable agency or throw them away.  
  
The final move forward was to hold a formal memorial service in Joe's honor which all four remaining Gatchaman team members reluctantly but conclusively agreed to. Nambu had finally convinced the team to perform this last bit of closure by sharing with them operative reports from Cross Karakorum and the surrounding area that in spite of the painstaking searches, there was no sign of Joe Asakura's body. For all intents and purposes, he had disappeared, possibly when the Galactor base exploded. The team read the reports and persuaded that Nambu and ISO had done everything humanly possible to try to locate the Condor, all came to the realization that Joe, indeed was dead. So Ken, Ryu, Jun, and Jinpei warily agreed to the memorial service. It was to be held on the official burial ground that overlooked the ocean reserved for ISO dignitaries and war heroes. Ken took note of the irony that a monument was erected for Joe not far from the one that had been set up for Kentaro Washio, Captain of Red Impulse, his father. Well at least I won't have to go to far to visit Joe when I come here to see my father he sullenly mused.  
  
The day of the service was partly cloudy and breezy, with the sun peeking out from behind large cumulous clouds in short intervals. It was a small group gathered there which had consisted of Nambu, President Anderson, a few staff and the Kagaku Ninjatai. They stood at silent sentinel, Ken, Ryu, Jinpei clad in dark suits and ties and Jun in a sedate black dress as a Catholic priest said a brief liturgy, for Joe had been baptized in the Catholic Church by his parents, Giuseppe and Caterina. Afterward, each person was invited to place flowers before the simply etched stone and spend a moment to bid farewell. The team waited until the others had paid their respects and then it was their turn.  
  
Ryu stepped up to the headstone and placed a few flowers on the ground before it. The big man wiped at his eyes as he spoke.  
  
"Well, Joe I guess this is it. You went down fighting like I knew you would. But I still hate the fact that you tried to take 'em down single-handedly. We were a team, man and you should've realized that. But you never thought clearly when it came to Galactor, you wanted your revenge. Well, you got it now." Ryu sniffled as he turned away from the stone, not wanting the others to see his distress.  
  
Jinpei was next. He broke away from Jun, who had her arm protectively around his shoulders and knelt before the monument.  
  
"Joe-aniki," the boy sobbed. "I-I wish you were still here. Even to pick on me, I miss you so much!" He broke down in absolute sorrow, unable to go on. Ryu took him gently by the shoulder to step back and guided him away down the hill.  
  
Of the small gathering, Jun and Ken remained. Jun stepped forward carrying a single pink rose. She laid it gently on the ground before the granite stone and knelt in front, brushing her hand across the etched letters of his name.  
  
"Joji," she began, using the endearing inflection of his name. "What can I say? You're gone but I still see and hear you as if you're still with us. You will always be with us, Joji, in our minds, and definitely in our hearts. I'll miss you and the way you always made sense out of things for me. You truly were my brother and I'll love you forever." Jun's voice broke as she too shed the tears that had gathered in her eyes since the ride over.  
  
Gentle yet firm hands held and squeezed her shoulders as Ken joined her, kneeling beside her. Jun wordlessly arose and stepped back as she allowed the Eagle his time to bid farewell to his second.  
  
Ken took a deep, grief-filled breath. His eyes stared grimly ahead as he tried to find words, words to express his feelings as he just spoke his heart.  
  
"Joe. So it finally came down to this, huh? Somehow, I kind of always knew it would. From the day you came to live with me at hakase's I figured that you'd find some way to try to strike out alone. You always were focused, relentless, driven in your quest for revenge. Even sick as you were, you wouldn't stop, not till you could get your licks in. Too bad it took you sacrificing your life to do it." He wiped at his moist eyes and went on. "I'm gonna miss having you by my side fighting Galactor and fighting me, you kept me honest. "You're my best friend, Joe even when I wanted to knock your block off when you'd disobey orders." Ken sighed as he rambled on. "Forgive me for leaving you on that cold, foggy yard, Joe. I didn't want to but you of all people could understand that I had to. You were the one who pointed out to me when I wasn't being a good leader that I had a job to do and I needed to put feelings aside. You told me to do that when I lost it and when I tried to help you, you beat the crap out of me. We always had that kind of relationship though didn't we, either best friends or bitter adversaries. I'll never forget that or you. Good-bye my friend."  
  
Ken got slowly to his feet and turned toward the ocean waves below the graveyard. The brisk sea breeze blew his long mahogany mane forward in his face, veiling it and hiding the hot tears that ran in rivulets from the corners of his tightly closed eyes. His mind teemed with memories of Joe, his brother and best friend until he felt the delicate touch of small, caring hands, soft as a swan's feather on his back.  
  
"Juni," he murmured, knowing it was she without having to turn to see for himself.   
  
Jun gently grasped Ken's arms to turn him around. As she cupped his face in her hands to gaze at him, he found himself drawn into the comfort that was waiting there, buried within the forest pool depths of her eyes. The Eagle wrapped his arms around the Swan and they lost themselves in each other as they mourned together for their brother, the Condor.  
  
END  
  
  
  
Final note: I wrote the Ken/Jun connection as I saw it-I know that most believe in Gatchaman I that Ken's feelings for Jun were non-existent or at the very least, deeply buried but I saw differently by nature of body language, subtle facial expressions and especially eye contact that took place between them fairly often. And his behavior and reactions during episodes 39 & 40 (before he slapped her) pretty much displayed (to me at least) that he was suffering from more than just guilt, he was devastated. He really loved her. There was one other time he screamed in agony like he did at the end of episode 39 and that was at the end of episode 53 when his father died. And her feelings for him were always present. So that's how I based my story. 


End file.
